


It Could've Been Anywhere (II)

by shesnotme681



Series: NYC AU [2]
Category: Coronation Street
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 05:03:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18336728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shesnotme681/pseuds/shesnotme681
Summary: Kate and Rana have declared their feelings for one another only to find an ocean between them. If they can close that gap, there's still a marriage, guilt, and pride threatening to keep them apart. Is what they have strong enough to beat the odds?





	1. Chapter 1

**FALLING** in love with Kate Connor was easy.

Rana hadn’t even realized it was happening. She slipped into it. Tumbled into it. It was unconscious. A reaction to everything Kate was, a reaction to how who that was made sense of who she was. It had been as though they were meant to love each other.

Rana spent her flight from New York to Manchester swirling in the clouds of Kate’s rambling admission of her love for her. In her head, she skipped past the current situation in which she was still bound to a husband, bound to a family who may never understand the wants of her heart. She pictured what it was like to really and truly be with Kate, as a proper couple. It was perfect.

And then the wheels of the plane slammed into the asphalt of the airport's runway, quite literally bringing her back down to reality.

Fortunately for Rana, her current reality, while not the perfect future she’d been envisioning, did still include Kate, as she was reminded when she turned on her phone to a series of messages from her. 

>>I love you

>>Sorry it took you about to fly halfway round the world for me to say it

>>I miss you. Hate knowing you’re moving farther away from me right now

>>Ignore that last text. It’s soft and embarrassing

>>But it’s true

>>Text me when you land. I love you

Rana was grinning ear-to-ear at her phone as she stepped off the plane, biting her lip as she thought about what to write back.

“Someone you’re here to see?” asked the flight attendant watching Rana’s smitten smile.

Rana shook her head. “Someone back in New York, unfortunately.”

“Well in that case, hope you’re headed back soon.”

“Me too,” said Rana.

It was going to be hard to pretend that she was not irretrievably in love with Kate Connor.

 **RANA** went straight to the hospital from the airport. As the glass doors slid open, giving her entrance into the neuro wing, she spotted Zeedan and Alya huddled together.

“Babe,” said Zeedan, standing up. “You made it.”

Rana offered a small smile and let him take her into a hug. “How is she? How’d the surgery go?”

“Surgeon said it went as well as could be expected. But we won’t know for sure how she is until she wakes.”

Rana nodded. She was familiar with the complications that could arise during and after brain surgery. Yasmeen still had a ways to go before she was completely out of the woods. Extracting herself from Zee’s grasp, Rana sat down beside Alya. “And how’re you bearing up?”

Alya ran her fingers through her hair. “Haven’t slept a wink.”

Rana threw an arm over her sister-in-law’s shoulders. “You both should get some rest—Sarah?”

“Rana! Oh my god, it’s been ages,” said the blonde woman dressed in a nurse's uniform.

“Sarah Platt. I didn’t know you were working here,” said Rana, standing up to greet her old nursing school mate.

“Hasn’t been long now. Actually just started. Living back in Salford now an' all... Look at me going on,” said Sarah, shaking her head. “What’s brought you here?”

“It’s Yasmeen. Zee and Alya’s gran. She’s just had surgery on an aneurysm.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” said Sarah, offering empathetic looks towards the Nazir siblings.

“Thanks,” said Rana, following her gaze. “It’s great seeing you, but I should probably…”

“Of course. If there’s anything I can do...”

“Thanks, Sarah. And if all goes well here, let’s catch up, yeah?”

“Definitely. Got the same number.”

“Perfect.”

“All my best to Yasmeen,” said Sarah with a sincere smile, taking off down the hall to the nurses station.

  **A** few hours after Rana made it to the hospital, Yasmeen opened her eyes. They glimmered with recognition, passing from Alya to Zeedan to Rana. When Rana asked how she was feeling, she glibly retorted that her head hurt. The joke eased the tension held in all of their shoulders. As the doctors informed them, she had a strong chance of making nearly a full recovery—but it was going to take time. Lots of time.

 **KATE** was exiting the gym when she retrieved her phone from her pocket to see a series of messages from Rana. Just the sight of her name flashing across the screen brought a smile to her face.

>>Landed safe and sound

>>I’ll take the softness over the alternative any day.  :) I was caught making heart eyes at your messages

>>Can’t wait to come back to you

>>I love you

Never before had Kate felt about any one the way she did about Rana. And it only seemed to be getting worse. It wasn’t just the exhaustive list of things she liked about her. Though it was long and worthy. And it certainly wasn’t just about the way she looked. Though she was objectively beautiful, and perhaps no more so than in Kate’s eyes. How she felt about Rana seemed separate to all the reasons. How she felt defied sense. How could receiving a simple string of text messages give her butterflies? Feeling that nearly-nauseous sensation made Kate almost angry, but in that way that only made her smile brighten more. Rana had destroyed her, but she was glad for it.

 **BACK** in No. 6 for the first time in months, Rana was accosted by the sensation of being home. It was here she’d felt like she was a part of a family, one that seemed to think that she was enough. This was largely, if not entirely, due to Yasmeen, a perfect foil to her parents if ever there were one. The mere thought of her mother and father made her shoulders sag. They’d rung earlier to meet up while she was in town, insisting on coming by the Nazir house that afternoon. They’d be there any minute now. Rana hoped that the focus would stay on Zeedan and Yasmeen, especially under the present circumstances.

As Zeedan sat with his laptop open, furiously crawling every medical website he could find against Rana’s advice, Rana put the kettle on and leant back against the counter. She pulled her phone out of her pocket to see a new WhatsApp message from Kate.

>>So glad Yasmeen is going to be OK. Know how much she means to you.

>>I love you, btw

Rana smiled softly at her phone before looking up and catching sight of the back of Zee’s head. There was a knot of guilt attached to the knot of want she had to do nothing more than return to New York, to Kate, to who now felt even more like home than this place once had. As a tear threatened to slip out, the buzzer rang, jolting her out of her thoughts. “I got it,” Rana told Zee, patting him on the shoulder as she headed to the door. “Mum. Dad,” she greeted her parents, holding the door for them as they passed through the entryway.

“Mr. and Mrs. Habeeb,” Zeedan said, standing up to give Hassan a firm handshake.

“We were so sorry to hear about Yasmeen,” Saira offered. “She’s such a strong woman. I’m sure she’ll pull through.”

“Seems she will. Got a good report at the hospital earlier.”

“That’s fantastic news.”

Zee nodded. “Only it's going to be a beast of a recovery.”

“Will you both be staying awhile then?” Saira asked, looking pointedly at her daughter.

“I have to head back at the weekend for work. But Zee will be staying a bit longer.”

“I’m off till the following weekend, but I was hoping…” Zee continued looking over at his wife, “that you might come back then. For gran.”

“Zee…”

“Well…”

“Zee, you know how much I love Yasmeen, but I won’t be able to take more time off from the hospital so soon.”

“I think this is more important. This is family. And who better to look after Yasmeen than you? You are a nurse after all.”

“Exactly, I’m a nurse, with a…”

Cutting Rana off, Zee continued, “It only makes sense for you to do this. Besides, we’re soon to be moving back here anyway.”

“What are you on about?”

“Should we tell them?” Zee asked, looking at his father-in-law.

“Tell us what?” demanded Rana, her eyes scanning between her father and Zeedan before landing on her mother, who shrugged to show her own ignorance.

“Why don’t you do the honors, son?”

Zeedan rounded the couch to find Rana’s hands. “Hassan, your dad,” he started, bursting with pride, “is investing in me, in us, in our very own cafe.” Zeedan fruitlessly searched Rana’s face for something resembling his own enthusiasm but was left wanting. “You’re not pleased?”

“No,” said Rana, shaking her head as though trying to wake herself from a nightmare.

“Rana!” scolded her mother, who’d apparently taken the development better than her. “How could you be so ungrateful?”

“I… I just bloody moved to New York! And now, now I’m just to uproot again and move back?” Rana was shocked by her own brazenness, but was having trouble reigning in her feelings of incredulity. She was thankful, at the very least, that she’d managed to leave out the bit about it all being about Zee and his dreams and his career.

“Language, Rana!” Saira chastised her daughter once again.

“Babe, you knew this was a possibility,” pleaded Zeedan. “I told you you’re dad was thinking about doing this. Figured you’d be made up we’d be moving back.”

“Well I’m not,” Rana nearly spat. “I’m not at all, Zeedan.”

“Would you just be reasonable, for once in your life, Rana,” Hassan hissed at his daughter. “This is a wonderful opportunity for you both. And as for taking care of Yasmeen, this is your duty, this is your family, this is more important than some job.” This was where Rana was meant to cave. This is where, under other circumstances, Rana might have caved. She felt all eyes on her, expectant. Then she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, and, knowing who it was, she closed her eyes for a moment of clarity. When she opened them, not even looking at those around her, she grabbed her jacket and made for the door.

A long walk brought Rana back around the Nazir house, and she settled down at a bench in a nearby community garden. Though she was clear on what she wanted to do, she was still foggy on how to go about it. There was no chance she could go along with her parents’ and Zee’s plans. There was no conceivable way she could reconcile herself to giving up a shot with Kate. But how did she go about getting that alternative? She had half a mind to FaceTime Kate. The other half, the half that prevailed, insisted that not only would it be unfair to ask Kate to help her through this particular mess, but it would no doubt cause her pain and worry. And it was that latter point, especially, that Rana couldn’t see past. She was just about to dial up her brother, when a blonde ponytail came bobbing past the garden wall.

“Sarah!”

“Jesus, Rana, you nearly scared me half to death,” said Sarah, clutching at her chest. 

“Sorry!” Rana pleaded, getting off from the bench. “How about I make it up to you with a drink at the Rovers.”

“I could certainly use one.”

“I’ll take that as a yes then,” said Rana, leading them to the local, where she ordered them both a large red before they slid into a booth. She quickly gave Sarah the rundown about Yasmeen’s condition, and how, thankfully, the worst of it was behind them. As they made idle small talk, Rana wondered if this old pal could be someone to confide in. If not about everything, at least the bit about her being expected to move back here. Never one to be too good at masking her thoughts to anyone truly paying attention, she was soon called out.

“Something else troubling you? Besides Yasmeen, I mean.”

“Am I that obvious?” After receiving a look from Sarah, Rana nodded. “It’s just, well, Zee wants me to move back here.” As Rana explained the situation to Sarah, the more absurd it all sounded to her own ears. How some people can talk themselves into a hole, or talk themselves out of something by saying it all out loud, Rana was talking herself into a feeling of conviction, conviction that she had every right to refuse the demands, veiled as familial duty, that were being made of her. “I’m not mad thinking they’re mad am I?”

“You’ve more than a right to have a say in your own life, Rana. And, besides, it’s okay sometimes to put yourself first,” Sarah reassured her, reaching out to place a hand on Rana’s. “Zee certainly has done,” she added somewhat under her breath, eliciting a small laugh from across the table.

Leaving the pub, Rana hugged and thanked her mate, before determinedly heading back to No. 6.

 **“LOOK** who’s back,” sneered Saira. Rana had hoped that her parents had taken their leave and that she would have the chance to speak to Zeedan in private. She considered postponing sharing her intentions until they left, but dismissed the idea almost immediately.

“Have you come to your senses?” asked Hassan.

Rana stood as tall as her body could stand, made her voice as steady as it could sound. “Yes.”

“So you’re onboard then?” said Zeedan, a hint of insecurity betraying his bravado. It almost made her feel sorry for him.

“No, I’m not. This is a lot to take in Zee. It took a lot of convincing for me to move my life to New York. And I do like it there. You all springing all this about a cafe and moving again on me and expecting me to just go along with it... It’s just not on.”

“But gran…”

“I know. This is what I propose. I go back to New York at the weekend as planned. You come back the following weekend, and we’ll talk it all out then. While we’re here, we’ll focus on Yasmeen. Okay?”

“Rana, there is nothing to think about,” insisted Hassan.

“Your father’s right. You’re just delaying the inevitable. I know you’re stubborn. But I know you know what the right thing to do is. Zeedan is your husband. And this is your future. Let’s go, Hassan. Hopefully Zeedan can talk some sense into our daughter.”

As the door closed behind her parents, Rana let out a sigh of relief. And it was a bit too soon. It was mere seconds before Zeedan rounded on her for humiliating her in front Hassan and Saira, claiming she didn’t care for his gran much after all, after everything she'd done for them, for her. And so on, and so forth. Rana had stopped listening long before she brought her bags into a spare bedroom to sleep. She fumbled with her phone while she considered calling Kate, but knew that if she heard her voice she was more than likely to spill her guts more than she was willing to—as had been the case since nearly the first time they met, she recalled with a smile. 

>>Going to get some shut-eye. Been a long day. Wish I were with you. I love you.

After sending the message, Rana set her phone by her head and tried to fall asleep to no avail. She kept checking to see if Kate had replied, and was growing more and more anxious every time she saw that she hadn't. It was all too much wasn't it? Even without the new complications. Kate had probably had a think about the situation and realized it wasn't worth it, that she wasn't worth it. Rana tossed and turned for another quarter of an hour before deciding to shut her phone off. But caught sight of a notification from Kate. She quickly unlocked her phone to a picture of Kate looking flushed post-workout, her face framed by fly-aways from her messy bun, her lips half-pursed.

>> Good night Rana. Sleep tight. I love you too. :*

Once Rana was able to pry her eyes away from the picture, she held her phone close to her chest, quickly slipping off to a dream-filled sleep. 


	2. Chapter 2

**WHEN**  Rana awoke the next morning, Zeedan had already left for the hospital. But once she joined him there, not wanting Alya or Yasmeen to be aware of their current drama, Zeedan acted as though all was well between them. This suited Rana just fine. She even allowed herself to believe that maybe, as they had discussed, they were going to address everything once they were both back in New York. As the end of the week approached, and Yasmeen’s condition continued to improve, Rana felt it would be okay for her to take Friday morning off from the hospital to grab an early breakfast with her brother.

 **"THERE**  she is!” called Imran from his table in Roy’s Rolls. “Already got you a latte. Give your big brother a hug.” As they sat down, Imran didn’t mince words. “So, I hear our little Rana is being quite the ungrateful wife.”

“Imran! You’ve got to be joking,” Rana spat. “You know damn well…”

“Sis, sis, I’m only teasing,” Imran reassured her. “To be honest, I’m shocked you’ve not already fled the country before they really sink their teeth in.”

Rana sighed. “Should have done.”

Imran, taking on a softer tone, continued, “For what it’s worth, I think the plan you laid out is a good one. At the very least, you buy yourself some time. But, do you really think you’ll be able to hold off coming back for long?”

Rana had stopped giving Imran her full attention almost as soon as she had sat down opposite him. She was too busy watching the latest addition to Kate’s Instagram story. The Connor girl was out celebrating Halloween with some coworkers, and seemed to be having a blast without her, not even bothering to send her a good morning text. She also happened to be in what was apparently supposed to be a nerd costume, but it left little to the imagination with its short shorts and sheer white button down. Unable to help herself, she watched the story over from the beginning—not for the first time since she’d woken up.

“What’s that face for?” asked Imran, peering at his sister—whose features were contorted into an unmistakable grimace—and then glancing down at her phone, turning his head to get a better look. “Oh, that that friend Kate of yours? Quite a looker, she is… Jealous?”

“What?” said Rana, immediately putting her phone facedown on the table. Imran pointed at it and laughed.

“I asked if you’re jealous. You’re missing out on all the fun with your new bezzie mate. Those Americans sure do like their Halloween. You could have had the perfect excuse to dress all scandalous and get bladdered all in the name of a holiday. I get it, I do.”

“Oh please, Imran. I’m not upset about missing a party. I’m not upset at all.”

“Your stink face says otherwise.”

“I do not have a…” Rana was interrupted by her phone going off. She flipped it over to see who it was and immediately picked up. “Kate?”

“Rana! Rananana!” Kate giggled through hiccups.

Rana put a finger up to Imran and decided to take the call outside.

“Rana? You there?”

“Hey, hey, yes, Kate. I’m here, sorry,” said Rana making her way to the curb. “Having a good time are we?”

“The best!” said Kate, before adding in a much more sober tone as though remembering something, “Well, not really. Would be if you here though. I miss you. I kind of love you, you know. “

Rana shyly raised a hand to her mouth to hide a smile and to keep herself from giggling into the phone. “Kind of?”

“Ugh,” said Kate with exaggerated exasperation. “You know what I mean.”

Turning her back completely away from the window to be on the safe side—not that she believed that Imran was particularly adept at reading lips—Rana said as casually as she could, “Well, yeah, guess I kinda love you too.”

“Rana!”

“You know what I mean.” Rana could hear Kate pouting through her silence. “I love you, Kate,” she conceded with all the sincerity she felt.

“That’s better,” said Kate through a yawn.

“You sound tired, about to call it a night?... Kate?”

“Sorry, nodded. Forgot you couldn’t see me,” Kate laughed. “In a cab now.”

“Okay, good,” said Rana. “I’m out for brekkie with my brother, but please text me when you get in?”

“ ’Course, babe.”

Rana felt her heart swell. She'd never cared much for Zeedan calling her that, but from Kate, well, it was more than alright by her.

“Tell Imran I said hi!” Kate added.

“Will do,” Rana agreed before they shared another exchange of I love yous and ended the call. When Rana sat back down across from her brother, he was squinting at her with a mixture of confusion and amusement. “What?”

“Well your little chat has turned that frown of yours right upside down. So you _were_ missing your bezzie mate after all?” Rana rolled her eyes, causing Imran to laugh. “Aw, she the reason you can’t bear to tear yourself away from New York?” Imran meant it as a tease, but it hit Rana altogether too close to home and she began fiddling with the lid on her coffee cup. Imran was yammering on about who knew what, while Rana felt fit to burst. Finally, she put her drink down in resolution. Maybe she could tell him all.

“Imran,” she said, cutting through his monologue without looking up at him.

“Rana,” he said, not a little patronizing.

“Imran,” she repeated.

“Yes, Rana,” he said with more than a hint of impatience.

“... If… If I tell you something, a secret, will you promise not to tell anyone, especially mum and dad?"

Imran shrugged. “S'pose you’ve kept enough of mine over the years, I can return the favor this once.”

“I’m serious.”

“Geez, Rana. What? New York make a murderer out of you or something?” Imran chided.

Rana, once again, rolled her eyes before leaning back in her chair and taking a deep breath. “It’s to do with Kate.”

“Well, she looks and sounds rather lively, don’t think you’ve much to worry about there.”

“Imran!”

“Sorry, sorry.”

“... I’ve fallen for her.”

“Fallen for Kate? Hah! Okay, okay, you’ve had your laugh. Now, what is it really?”

Rana just met her brother’s gaze, willing him to believe her without further explanation.

“No way. You’re telling me the aunties were right after all? I don’t believe it,” said Imran, referring to how some of their relatives had been buzzing in their mother’s ear over a picture they’d come across of Rana at Pride with Kate and Alya, rainbows everywhere, and with her giving Kate a friendly kiss on the cheek. Though even they, thought Imran, surely didn’t believe their idle gossip to have any truth behind it. But here they were.

“Kind of?” Rana half conceded. “But… Well, back then I hadn’t really done anything about it yet.”

“So you’ve… done something about it since... “

Again Rana declined to speak, hoping her silence could answer for her once more.

“Wow,” said Imran. “You’re having an affair with your husband’s sister’s lesbian roommate. I’ll give you this, Rana, when you screw up, you don’t screw up by halves.” He gave his sister a small smile to let her know that, while he certainly wasn’t above having a laugh at her expense, he wasn’t in any way chastising her for her actions.

“I know,” Rana admitted, sharing in Imran's sense of irony. “The weird thing is, it just doesn’t feel that wrong. And while I do feel badly, I don’t feel that badly, you know what I mean? I fought it, too. For so long. It’s just… She’s just so…  And it’s not like I’ve been carrying on behind Zee’s back for ages. Hardly at all really. But right before I left everything just kind of clicked into… ” Unaware of Imran’s bewildered expression as she rambled on unprompted, Rana’s eyes immediately went to her phone when it buzzed. She quickly picked it up to read the new message from Kate informing her that she'd made it home safe and sound and telling her good night. All the while a grin never left Rana’s face.

“My, my. You do have it bad, don’t you?”

Rana, put her phone back down and leant back. “Yes.”

They sat there in silence for a minute or two. Rana, not sure what more she wanted to say, Imran, not sure what he wanted to ask. Ultimately he settled on the most obvious in the vaguest of ways. “Zeedan?”

“Hasn’t a clue.”

“Do you still love him?”

“Not sure I ever did?”

“Harsh, sis.”

“It sounds awful, I know. But… whatever feelings I ever had for him, they don’t come close enough to even compare to this.”

Imran considered this for a moment. “So, you’re saying you’re gay then.”

Rana shook her head, not exactly as an outright denial. But while it was relatively easy for her to grasp and accept her feelings for Kate—or rather, it was hard for her to ignore them—taking on a whole new identity was a bit more difficult for her to get her head around. Had she been lying to herself all these years? Just oblivious? “I’m saying I’m in love with someone who’s not my husband.”

“And are you going to tell him, your husband?”

“That’s the thing, I was just about to tell him before Yasmeen…”

“All about Kate?”

“No, just that, well, that I wanted some time apart. Things have been awful between us ever since I moved. It wouldn’t have worked out even if Kate never came into the picture. Honestly, things had never been better between us than when I was still here and he’d already left for New York.”

Imran guffawed. “Harsh again, little sis.” He then checked his watch. “While I’d love nothing more than to stay and chat some more, I do have to be heading off to work.”

Rana nodded, not entirely hiding her disappointment.

“Let me give you a lift to the airport tomorrow?”

“Would you?”

“Think anyone else is going to offer?”

Rana laughed and gave her brother a playful punch on the arm. When she hopped onto the tram to the hospital, she felt lighter than she had in a very long time.

 

 **FIRST** thing in the morning, Rana had accompanied Zeedan and Alya to the hospital, where they saw Yasmeen off for her transfer over to a nearby rehabilitation facility. Once she was all settled in her new room, the doctor urged them all to head home and let her get some much-needed rest. Rana kissed the tired woman on the forehead, feeling her frail hands encircle one of hers with genuine feeling. She couldn’t help but wonder if this was to be the last time this kind soul of a woman would ever have any affection for her. Rana wiped a stray tear from her eye as she followed Zeedan and Alya back to the car.

On the ride back to the house, Rana could feel Zeedan’s gaze landing on her. He’d caught her emotional goodbye to Yasmeen. Did he see it for what it was, a goodbye with no known reunion on the horizon? Or was he imagining that, as he and her parents had hoped, that she was now too overcome with guilt to leave—at least not for good? Rana didn’t say a word when she got back to the house, making her way to her packed suitcase upstairs. She’d been thankful that Alya and Zeedan had alternated nights at the hospital, with her sister-in-law none the wiser to the marital spat. Just as she was about to descend, prepared to face her husband’s wrath, or worse, disappointment, she heard the buzzer ring. She took a deep breath, relieved that her brother would be here for support. But as the door opened, instead of hearing Zeedan’s surprise to see Imran, she heard Alya’s surprise to see her parents. What on Earth were they doing back here? There was nowhere to go but down, so Rana braced herself and headed the rest of the way down the staircase.

Zeedan turned around to see Rana ready to go. “You’re really heading back now then?”

Rana nodded.

“Your family need you hear, Rana,” Hassan cut in.

“I have a job,” she protested.

“There is no more important job than being a wife,” her father continued. “And your husband needs you here.”

“I’ve told you, and Zeedan, that we’d talk about it back in New York.”

“So you said,” said Saira. “But no one here is convinced. Why do you think Zeedan asked us to come back today?”

When the buzzer sounded once more, all eyes turned towards the door. Imran, before anyone could move to let him in, opened the unlocked door. “Mother, Father. Thought that was your car outside. Did Rana double-book us for a ride to the airport?”

“She’s not going anywhere until she commits to come back to take care of Yasmeen, and to help her husband get their business off the ground,” said Hassan.

“Of course she will,” said Imran with a dismissive wave of his hand and giving his sister an encouraging smile, as Rana tried to school her features into one of calm instead of the deer-in-headlights look she’d taken on.

“You don’t know what your sister is capable of,” sneered Saira.

“Sure I do,” said Imran, not lacking for confidence for a moment. “Matter of fact, we met for breakfast last morning and had a chat about all of this. She told me she’d like to go back to get everything in order—including,” Imran added pointedly, “giving her two weeks notice at her job.”

“Is this true, Rana?” asked Saira.

“Yes,” said Rana, finding her footing in her brother’s farce, which, to her surprise, was rather believable. “I don’t want to leave them in the lurch; it wouldn't be right.”

“And,” Imran cut in, more naturally smarmy and accustomed to off-the-cuff obfuscation, “Would you really want the family name to be muddied in New York medical circles?”

“She’s only a nurse,” said Saira, stinging Rana. Hassan, however, seemed to consider this a valid concern.

“He has a point, Saira." Turning to Rana, he added with a nod. “Go. Do as your brother says you intend."

Rana felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned to face Zeedan.

“I knew you’d come 'round,” he said, pulling her into a hug. “I’m sorry for the things I said the other night.”

“Don't… Don’t worry about it,” said Rana, fighting back tears she knew her husband would misinterpret.

“So, we off now, sis?” asked Imran with a quirked brow?

Rana bid her parents, Zeedan, and Alya—who had been offering her sympathetic looks throughout the whole ordeal—goodbye. Mechanically going through the motions of being the person they all thought she might be, she waved goodbye to them with as much warmth as she could muster, sinking back into her seat only when Imran rounded a corner, bringing them out of sight.

“You alright?”

“I will be,” breathed Rana. “Thank you.”

“I wasn’t bad in there was I? Might find my true calling upon the stage.”

“A proper thespian you,” said Rana, meeting her brother’s gaze when she found him unusually silent. “Do _not_ ,” she added, pulling out her phone.

>> Send me your flight info so I know when you land. I want to be there when you do

>> And don’t tell me not to bother woman. I want to

Rana pursed her lips, but checked her flight number and obliged, unable to ignore the nearly overwhelming anticipation of being reunited with Kate. They’d only been apart a week. And before that week, there’d only been a day that they really and truly had given into their feelings. But it was the first week that Rana knew that Kate loved her—possibly as much as she loved her back.

“That the lady of the hour?”

“She’s meeting me at the airport.”

“Impressive,” said Imran. “Flown in and out of that city before. Don’t think I’d be willing to trek out to _any_ one of those airports for _anyone_.”

This gave Rana a thought. “But… you think you’d fly out to visit your favorite sister at some point? If… When... I tell Zeedan. And our parents. Think I might not hate to have a catch-up.”

“Are you kidding? How long did you really think you’d be able to keep me from meeting that fox of a girlfriend of yours?”

Rana’s eyes bulged at the mention of girlfriend, though she gave Imran’s latest remark the laugh he was seeking. Was Kate her girlfriend? she wondered. Then she had a another thought, this one making her put her head in her hands and laugh once more with even less mirth, followed by a groan.

“Are you going to be sick?” asked Imran, tentatively nudging her shoulder, fearing the fate of his freshly cleaned floor mats.

“I need a divorce.”

Now it was Imran’s turn to laugh. “Well, yeah, figured we were heading in that direction, sis. Why the sudden declaration?”

“Kate… she can’t… I don’t want to… For her to be…”

“What?”

"I don’t want to be having an affair is all.”

Realization dawned on Imran. “My sweet sweet sister doesn’t want her mistress to be her mistress.”

“Imran! Do NOT call her that.”

Imran couldn’t help but to laugh some more, despite his sister’s clear anger. “Okay, okay. You’re the one who was thinking it. But,” he added, turning serious. “I know it’s not as sordid as all that.”

“I love her.”

“I know you do, kid,” he said, patting her on the thigh as they approached the departure drop-off. “Well, here we are. Go get your girl.”

Rana threw her arms around her brother’s shoulders, catching him a bit off guard with the force of the hug. “Thank you, Imran. I mean it. You’re a right pain in the arse most of the time. But… you know…”

“I know. Same to you. Now get going,” Imran said, shoo-ing Rana out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for coming back to this random NYC AU fic! Always appreciate your comments and kudos. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reunion. And a day date gone awry.

Before Rana knew it, she was seated on the plane heading back to New York, back to Kate. For the first couple of hours, she tried in vain to fall asleep. The hours felt like days as she kept glancing at the map charting the plane’s progress. She’d never felt more ire for the Atlantic Ocean in her life. No in-flight movies could keep her attention, neither could the book that had so thoroughly engrossed her the night before she'd fallen asleep with it on her chest. Now the only thing she had room for in her mind was Kate, seeing Kate, being with Kate. So, she ordered a coffee and settled in for few more restless hours.

When the pilot announced that they would be landing shortly at 10 p.m. local time, Rana felt her stomach bottom out as though the plane decided to free fall a few hundred feet. As the minutes ticked by, Rana shuffled in her seat, organized and reorganized her things. The final descent was a blur. Turned on her phone upon landing, she was greeted with a few welcome new messages.

>>I’m here!

>>Possibly getting some strange looks at baggage claim. Don’t think my excitement is all that contagious

>>You’ve landed! Can’t wait to see you

As Rana exited the plane, she shot off a quick reply.

<<I have. See you soon :)

“You made it back!”

Rana looked up a bit alarmed to be met with the face of the same stewardess that was on her earlier flight. “I did!”

“Well, whoever the lucky bloke is, must be quite the catch.”

“I’m the lucky one. She’s amazing,” Rana replied without pause, determinedly striding up the walk to find the woman who couldn’t help but to put a smile on her face.

Rana saw Kate first. She was leaning back against a pillar dressed in jeans, a white t-shirt, and a tan jacket that hugged her fit frame perfectly. She was tapping at her phone impatiently while scanning everyone who walked by, even standing on her tiptoes at one point. Doing her best not to break into a sprint, Rana hurried towards her. When Kate finally spotted her, she didn’t show quite so much restraint, closing the remaining distance between them at a jog, only stopping when she had Rana in her arms.

“You're back,” Kate whispered into Rana’s ear, holding her closer. Rana returned the embrace in kind. It was as if they thought if they held on tight enough they could make themselves one. Rana, who only pulled away so that she could get another look at Kate, was unable to stop herself from kissing her when she did. “Miss me?

“I missed you something awful, Kate Connor,” Rana laughed, forcing herself away from Kate to check the conveyor belt for her bag.

Kate, slinging an arm around Rana’s shoulders, asked cockily, “Did you now?”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get a big head about it or anything.”

“Me? Never. Flattered is all. Not every day I get to be missed by a woman of your caliber.”

“Oh god, stop. Or I’ll catch the next plane back to England.”

“You wouldn’t,” said Kate, spotting Rana’s bag and making a grab for it. “We’ve got plans.”

“What kind of plans?”

“You, me, a box set, and a box of pizza.”

Rana breathed a sigh of relief. “If you’d said anything else I think I would have been heading back to the motherland after all.”

Kate put a hand to her chest in faux hurt before opening the door to the Uber. “Your chariot awaits. First stop and only stop, my humble flat.”

Playing delivery roulette, Kate ordered the pizza in the car. And, as luck would have it, their Uber arrived at nearly the same time as their order. Kate slid the pizza onto the counter when they entered the flat, and stood watching impatiently as Rana set down her backpack and hung up her jacket. Since they’d reunited at the airport, everything had felt a bit surreal. The banter had always come easily between them, it had had a strain of flirtation laced into it from the first time they met. Their ride into Manhattan was rife with it, along with playful hand-holding and chaste pecks. But now here they were. Together, in love, and alone.

“Come here,” said Kate.

When Rana looked up from her luggage, her breath caught a bit in her chest. That feeling she had on the plane, of her stomach bottoming out, returned. It was nerves, but not the ordinary nervous kind. They were the palpably euphoric kind, the kind when you know you’re exactly where you’re meant to be, with exactly who you’re mean to be with in that moment. And it’s all a bit too much, but not quite enough at the same time. The only thing to do was to do as Kate bid, and go to her.

Kate placed her hands on either side of Rana’s face. “Are you okay?”

Rana nodded through tears that seemed to come out of nowhere and stream down her face.

“Hey, hey,” said Kate, taking one of Rana’s hands and pulling her over towards the couch. “What’s wrong, babe?”

Rana shook her head.

Kate furrowed her brow and leaned back slightly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean… Is that weird? I know that you’re still... “

“No, no,” Rana laughed through the last of her tears. “Nothing’s wrong and do not apologize." Wiping at her face, she added, “These are the happy ones.”

“Well good grief, woman. Don’t think I care to see the sad ones then."

Rana gave her a light push. “But seriously,” she said, turning to face Kate head-on, her legs crossed on the couch. “I’m so happy to be here. So, so happy.”

Kate, mimicking Rana’s posture, took her hands in hers. “I’m so happy to be here with you.” Looking at their hands, Kate shook her head. “Can't believe I almost messed it up.”

“I think your dramatic airport declaration of love for me made up for it.”

“I was proper rom-com-ing it wasn’t I?”

Rana nodded. “I love you so much, Kate.”

“I love you too, so much,” said Kate, closing what was left of the space between them and softly, almost tentatively kissing the woman before her. They had all the time in the world to kiss each other, be with each other, explore each other, love each other. And they planned to take it.

 **THE** next morning, Kate woke up surprised to find that they’d switched positions over the course of the night. She felt Rana’s cool nose nuzzled into the back of her neck, and looked down to find her slim arm wrapped firmly around her middle. Kate sighed into the embrace, letting herself fall back asleep in Rana’s arms. When Kate stirred a few hours later, she felt Rana lightly tracing the outline of her shoulder with her fingertips.

“Having fun?”

“Mmm,” said Rana, pulling Kate’s shoulder towards her so that she was flat on her back. “Thought you’d never wake up,” she added, placing a soft kiss just above Kate’s collar bone. Then another slightly higher. And then one just below her ear. Still half asleep, Kate let out a quiet, involuntary moan. Rana grinned and was about to carry on when she felt Kate shift from beneath her and bolt upright, nearly knocking her off the bed as she reached for her phone. “What in the name of…”

“It’s half noon!”

Rana shrugged and shook her head, unbothered by the late lie-in and confused about why Kate most definitely was.

“We’re supposed to have a day!”

Rana shrugged once more. “We certainly had a night.”

“Rana, you know what I mean.”

“And…  we could certainly have an afternoon,” Rana continued, shifting her body so that she was straddling Kate, who was now sitting up with her back against the headboard.

“No you don’t,” said Kate, grabbing Rana’s wandering hands. “We’re getting up.”

“Are we?” Rana asked coyly.

“Yes. Showers. You can go first.”

“Are you going to join me?”

Kate eyed the woman above her, nearly giving into temptation. “Nuh-uh. Up you get.”

“No.”

Kate took the moment to flip their positions, so that now she was hovering over Rana, giving her a quick kiss before hopping down to the floor. “Fine, I’ll go first then.” She was determined to at least do some of what she had planned.

As she worked shampoo into a lather, a grin broke out onto her face when she heard a “Hey!” followed by the sound of the doorknob getting a bit of a workout. “You locked the door!” Kate’s laugher permeating the bathroom walls, Rana continued, “And what if I have to use the loo?”

“Oh, really. Do you?

“Would you believe me if I said yes?” Rana asked in a small voice.

“Nope.” Kate let out another chuckle as she heard Rana pad back down the hallway—though a part of her wasn’t sure who the joke was really on.

 **"THIS** way said Kate,” guiding Rana down another walkway in Central Park, then leading her up a dirt path until they arrived at a boulder not far from the boathouse. “Here,” she said, passing Rana a bagel with cream cheese and taking a seat beside her before taking her own out of the brown paper bag. As Rana took a bite of her 2 p.m. breakfast, she groaned at its simple perfection.

“Not the worst solution to missing brunch reservations, eh?"

“Take this over a fancy brunch any day.”

“Cheap date, you are.” With her mouth full, Rana wagged a cream cheese-covered finger. “Yes, dear. I know this doesn’t mean you wouldn’t enjoy a slightly more upscale date under the right circumstances." Rana smiled and looked away across the park, appreciating the autumn leaves. “When you’re done,” Kate interrupted her tree-gazing, “I’ve got something a bit more stimulating in mind.” Rana squinted at Kate, wondering if she meant what she thought she meant by that.

 **“KATE,** no. Absolutely not.”

“Come on, it could be fun!”

“It’s cheesy!”

“Cheesy can be fun!”

“And it’s exercise!”

“Exercise can be fun!”

“Kaaatee!”

“Hiya, we’d like to rent a rowboat for the hour,” Kate told the man standing at the booth, handing over the cash and then following him over to said boat. Kate jumped in first and faced towards shore with a massive smile on her face as Rana tentatively boarded and took the bench opposite her, a glare adorably playing out across her features.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Rana gestured with her head towards the oars. “Well, let’s go, skipper.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Kate, rowing them out into the center of the lake—or, at best, attempting to. Beads of perspiration began to break out along her hairline as she struggled to find a groove with the two oars. After watching this display for a few minutes more, Rana sighed and stood up.

“Move.”

“I’m…”

“Get up.”

Kate did as she was was told and switched places with Rana, who tossed her leather jacket at her before taking the oars into her own hands and capably rowing them to a more secluded inlet on the other side. “How’d you make it look so easy," said Kate in awe that was peppered of course with some mild resentment.

“I’m a natural,” Rana said, enunciating every syllable.

Kate smirked. “You are indeed.”

Rana bit her lip and permitted herself to take in the full view of Kate, her eyes coming to rest on her strong shoulders and toned arms. And then she laughed through her nose.

“What?”

“Useless.”

“You what?”

Rana waved her hand in the general area of Kate’s upper body. “All that muscle.”

Kate’s mouth fell open. “You…” she said, dipping her hand down till it was no more than an inch or two from the water. Rana jumped up and plopped herself down next to Kate.

“You wouldn’t!”

“I would. But nah, don’t much fancy touching that filth to be honest—even if you do deserve it,” she said, nudging Rana.

“Well good,” said Rana, wrapping her arms around Kate under her jacket, as Kate pulled her in closer still. “And it’s not entirely useless.”

“I was going to say…” Kate started.

“Yeah, yeah… You’re still riding bitch in my boat.”

Kate snorted. “You’re enjoying this.”

“Immensely.”

“I’m regretting it.

“But it’s so much fun,” said Rana, placing a kiss on Kate’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Next up? Kate's birthday. Maybe a bit of jealous Rana, some very soft Kate.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do birthday parties ever go exactly to plan?

**“SO,** it’s your birthday this weekend.”

“It is,” said Kate, mindlessly playing with Rana's hair, as her head rested in her lap while they watched a movie. “Think Alex is just organizing some drinks at the bar for tomorrow.”

“Where you work?”

“Yeah. You'll come right?”

"Of course," said Rana, adding, “I’d like to take you out. On your actual birthday. Just the two of us?”

“Rana, you know I’d be more than happy to just pretend it’s any other day and have a quiet one. Spending time with you is present and party enough.”

“Well that’s really sweet,” said Rana, giving Kate's thigh a gentle squeeze.

“It’s true,” said Kate, slipping a stand of hair behind Rana's ear.

“But,” Rana went on, making sure Kate heard her. “It’s nearly… You know. When… His flight is…”

“I know,” said Kate, cutting her off. “All the more reason we should spend what’s left of this dream just being us.”

Rana studied her for a bit and nodded. Then shook her head to rid herself of the impulse to cry. No point wasting their time together with more tears. “Okay then.”

 **> >WHERE** are you?

<<Had to stay a bit after my shift. Be there in 20

>>You better

When Rana did arrive at the get together for Kate's birthday, the back corner of the bar was taken over by a dozen or so of Kate’s friends.

“You made it!”

“Hello, Rana,” said Alex, giving her a knowing look, which she returned with one of warning.

“Alex,” greeted Rana before locking eyes with Kate and giving her a quick hug, as they’d agreed that, until she talked to Zeedan, they wouldn’t be public about the current state of their relationship. “How’s the birthday girl?” Rana asked. “Can I get her a fresh drink?”

Kate nodded. “I’ll come with you.” Then, at a volume only Rana could hear as they made their way over, Kate asked, “Is this some sort of twisted birthday test?”

“What you on about?”

“THOSE jeans. THAT shirt.”

Rana looked down at her ripped tight black jeans and similarly fitted thin black cropped sweater with a white and green stripe and shrugged. “Well, what would you have had me wear?”

“I don’t know, a sheet?” Kate spat in frustration, running a hand through her hair.

“Just a sheet?” Rana asked, feigning innocence.

“Evil. That’s what you are.”

Rana smirked and then ordered them a couple of drinks from the bartender.

A few more drinks and shots later, they were both finding it more and more difficult to keep things strictly friendly. After some decidedly unfriendly handsiness from Kate under the table, Rana excused herself to go grab another round. When she headed back over to Kate, who was now standing, she noticed a girl beside her, who looked to be trying to get a bit too cozy for her liking. Quickly making her way through the crowd, Rana handed—or rather shoved—Kate’s drink into her hands and used her now free hand to introduce herself.

“Rana,” she said, waiting for a handshake from this unwelcome stranger. “Friend of Kate’s?”

“Imogen,” the girl said, limply taking Rana’s hand. “And, something like that. Ex of Kate’s.”

“Right,” said Rana. “Kate didn’t mention.”

“She wouldn’t would she. Doesn’t like to kiss and tell this one,” said Imogen, bumping Kate’s hip.

“Well if it were serious, I imagine she would have done,” said Rana in her most pleasant voice.

“And who are you anyway?” Imogen’s own play-nice tone taking on a definite edge.

Kate, who’d thus far thought it best to make herself scarce, decided now might be a good time to intercede.

“Rana’s my best mate,” said Kate simply, casually swinging an arm around Rana’s shoulders.

Rana once again excused herself, this time making for the loo, but not before she heard Imogen ask, “Not even your best mate knew about us, eh?”

After awkwardly dodging away from Imogen, Kate went after Rana. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Your _best mate_? And what is your _ex_ even doing here?

Checking to make sure that no one else was in the bathroom with them before continuing, Kate took Rana by her upper arms. “Babe, I’m sorry. I thought that’s what we’d decided on saying. And she apparently tagged along with a friend of a friend," Kate shrugged. "I know she's a bit much, but she's harmless."

Rana dropped her shoulders and looked down.

“Hey, look at me. Believe me, I want nothing more than to shout from the rooftops that you’re my… That you’re mine, that I’m yours. You know that right?”

“I’m a bit drunk.”

“Me ‘an all,” Kate laughed. “Say we stick around another hour out of politeness then make a run for it?”

Rana nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Jealousy looks sexy on you.”

“It’s going to look like a spilt drink on that cheeky mare’s dress if she touches you again.”

Kate howled as she pushed Rana out of the bathroom, whispering an I love you into her hair and getting a grunt in response that she accepted as her sentiments returned.

Once they re-joined the party, Kate and Rana slid into a booth with Alex and a couple of others. They were actually enjoying themselves—despite the pesky constraints placed on their affection. But it wasn’t long before Imogen made her presence known once more, sidling in next to Kate. Rana gritted her teeth and was shooting daggers at Imogen’s hand, which had found its way onto Kate’s thigh as she leaned over to whisper into her ear.

“Wotcha say, birthday girl? Fancy getting out of here and making up for lost time?” she purred just loud enough for Rana to hear, causing the nurse to choke on her vodka soda.

“Eh, don’t think so, Imogen,” said Kate, lifting the offending hand off of her, half expecting to see Rana’s drink mid-air at any moment.

“Why not? You’re single. I’m single. We always had a good time didn’t we?”

Rana’s ears were burning while her hands had a vice-grip on the glass in front of her.

“I’m flattered, really. But maybe let’s just be mates now, yeah?”

Imogen, seemingly taking the hint, leaned back, relinquishing some of Kate’s personal space back to her. “You know, I never did learn why you ditched me last year.” Before Kate could offer up an excuse, she went on, “We had a row, I remember, when you didn’t invite me to your do. But we got passed it—or, rather, _I_ let it go.”

“Imogen, please,” said Kate. “Do we really need to do this now?”

“And we made plans to hang out the following week. Which, you actually kept. But you weren’t really there. All distracted, like. Then you blew me off a time or two. _Then_ you binned me entirely.”

“I was a total prat,” admitted Kate earnestly. “And I’m…”

“Yeah, you were. Should have known it was only a matter of time when you didn’t invite your girlfriend to... “

“Imogen, we weren’t…”

“We were. How many…”

“When?” piped up Rana, who’d been listening to the whole exchange. She couldn’t shake a growing, nagging feeling about why Kate may have kept this little dalliance—that didn’t seem to be all that little after all—from her, that maybe this thing with Imogen happened or was still going on after she had confessed her feelings.

“What?” Kate and Imogen asked in near-unison, turning towards her.

“I asked when. When was this?” she added, pointing between them and taking what she hoped looked like a calm, cool, and collected sip of her drink.

“Ah, right. You recall, Kate?”

“Erm, it was er…”

“Memory of a fish, this one,” said Imogen, rolling her eyes. “Surely you must know when you celebrated moving into your new flat.”

Rana’s ears perked up. The house-warming party. The first time Rana met Kate. When Kate spent the entire night stood in the kitchen hanging out with Rana, a complete stranger. But Kate couldn’t have… And yet… Rana, putting a hold on trying to put the pieces together out of concern she was putting them together all wrong, looked up at Kate, who correctly figured out what was going on in Rana’s head and gave her a sheepish smile—which wasn’t missed by Imogen.

“Were _you_ there?”

Rana shrugged, then pushed herself out of the booth. “Need a fresh drink, me. What about you Imogen, Kate? My treat,” she said, nodding as though the two confused women had answered in the affirmative. As Rana made for the bar, Imogen rounded on Kate.

“Leave it,” Kate said, getting up to find Rana stood near the bar, but without any drinks, or, seemingly any intention of procuring any. When Kate pointed at her empty hands, Rana smirked.

“Get your coat.”

“I thought…”

“Now,” Rana said, spinning on her heel and heading outside, her arm stretched out to hail a cab. Kate, mouth agape and gawking, snatched her coat off a hook and bolted for the door. By the time she joined Rana outside, a yellow cab had already pulled over and they both hopped inside. As it took off towards the flat, Rana pulled Kate to her by her coat lapels, slamming their lips together. Kate wasn’t sure what was happening, but she was more than happy to go along for the ride.

 **WHEN**  they arrived outside Kate’s building, Rana quickly paid the cabbie and pulled Kate inside and straight to the elevator, reattaching her lips to hers, only breaking apart when they got to her floor. On the other side of the door to Kate’s flat, Rana pinned Kate up against it. Catching her breath for a moment, Kate held Rana a few inches at bay.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what…” said Kate, shaking her head in slight disbelief while taking in the sight of the remarkable woman who couldn’t or wouldn’t take her hands off of her.

“I love you,” said Rana, flicking her gaze up from Kate’s mouth to meet her eyes, her lips still so close to Kate’s they were breathing the same air. “And I want you.” A shiver ran down Kate’s spine. “And,” Rana continued between kisses placed slowly along Kate’s jawline. “I know… why… you stopped… seeing her…” Kate groaned out of a mix of being turned on and embarrassment. “And it makes… me want… to have you...now,” Rana added, her voice low and her mouth now finding its way to Kate’s neck. One hand buried in Kate’s hair, the other grazing Kate’s abs under her shirt, Rana lifted her head slighting so that her mouth was mere centimeters from Kate’s ear. “Can I?”

“Canyouwhat?” hissed Kate.

“Can I have you.” Taking the whine that came out of the back of Kate’s throat as permission, Rana dragged her nails down to the waistband of Kate's jeans, where she curled her fingers, pulling Kate forward with a jerk of her wrist. “Bedroom.”

 **“YOU** going to let me return the favor today?” asked Kate, twisting around in Rana’s arms and placing a light kiss on her nose as Rana crinkled it, her eyes still closed but a small smile creeping onto her face.

“Which one?”

When Kate poked her in the ribs, Rana reluctantly opened her eyes, the smile already on her lips now dancing in them. Now that she was looking at Kate, her hair tousled from the night before, her eyes soft in a way that Rana had only seen them look when they were looking at her, her mouth turned up in a lazy half-asleep half smile, the desire to tease left her entirely. 

"I really love you," Rana said simply, staring intently at the woman before her.

"Well that's handy," said Kate, her smile growing. "'Cause I really love you too."

They lie there, the two of them, looking at each other, letting the moments pass as they futilely tried to fight the corners of their mouths from quirking up in permanent grins, basking in the shared giddiness of being helplessly in love and in like.

 **“KATE!**   _Happy birthday!_ You alive?!” Alya’s voice rang out as the front door to the flat slammed shut behind her, the wheels of her suitcase running along the floorboards. “Saw Alex’s posts from your party!” Her keys hit the counter. “Kate? Don’t tell me you’re still asleep. It’s nearly noon!” Alya’s footsteps quickened, moving closer and closer. Until she arrived at her roommate's unlocked door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To cliffhanger, to not cliffhanger. Apologies for—after some deliberation—going for the first choice :) Hopefully won't keep you waiting too long for the next part. Always appreciate your kind comments and kudos!


	5. Chapter 5

_**"HAPPY** birthday! You alive?!” Alya’s voice rang out as the front door to the flat slammed shut behind her, the wheels of her suitcase running along the floor. “Saw Alex’s posts from your party!” Her keys hit the counter. “Kate? Don’t tell me you’re still asleep. It’s nearly noon!” Alya’s footsteps hit the floorboards, moving closer and closer until she arrived at the unlocked door. _

_\--_

**KATE**  and Rana were frozen to the spot, not having had time to process what was going on or how to mitigate what was just about the worst situation they could have imagined themselves in. Neither of them even daring to breath, they could hear the sound of Alya’s hand wrapping around the door knob, with every intention of turning it and barging in on her roommate. But it never turned. Instead, she seemed to think better of it and retreat, the sound of her steps moving farther away. And then Kate’s phone lit up.

>>Got company? Did see a blonde awful close to you in some pics ;)

When Rana read the message over Kate’s shoulder, it was her turn to deliver a poke to the ribs. Kate brushed her off, mouthing frantically, “What should we do?” After a beat, as quietly as she could, Rana slipped out of the bed, tracking down her t-shirt and sweatpants from the other night. She motioned for Kate to get dressed as well as she picked up stray undergarments and tossed them into the closet before getting back into the bed and gesturing for Kate to join her under the covers. Kate was looking at her as though she’d gone mad. But Rana, focused now, was not to be deterred. She stared pointedly at Kate’s phone and made a grabbing motion with her hand. Opening up Kate’s chat with Alya, she typed up a message. After showing it to Kate, who gave a nod while being both amused and bewildered, she hit send.

<<Have I company? Why yes. But not the hot blonde. Just your cranky, massively hungover bed hog talking in her sleep sister in law, who’s been crashing with me all week

Rana, after thinking for a quick second, snagged the phone back.

<<Come see for yourself

Tossing the phone to Kate, who was trying to look as casual as she could while glancing about to see if Rana had missed anything, Rana flopped onto her back, splayed out with a limb or two across Kate’s rigid body, her mouth hanging open. In short order, a laugh boomed down the hall, followed by Alya’s quick step. When she opened the door, she took one look at her disheveled pals and couldn’t help but laugh all over again.

“Oi! Rana! Aren’t you supposed to be taking care of the birthday girl on her big day and not the other way 'round?”

Rana grumbled into her pillow, and Kate offered the not-so-hungover girl a sympathetic pat on the back.

“Ah, she’s alright. Had a right laugh." Kate shifted over so that Alya could plop down on the edge of the bed. “Thought your flight didn’t get in till tomorrow afternoon,” said Kate, trying to play things evenly. “Didn’t have a chance to clean up the joint for ya.”

“Ha! As if you would have done,” said Alya, unimpressed. “Needed to get back for this massive meeting tomorrow. Managed to switch my flight—for no small fee might I add. Basically had to throw my stuff together and head straight to the airport when I did, too. Hectic several hours if there ever were.”

Making a show of stirring to life next to Kate, Rana eventually turned over.

“Ah there she is. Look. At. You.”

“Shove it, Alya,” said Rana, sitting up now. “How’s Yasmeen doing?”

“Couldn’t really be much better actually. According to the docs, anyway.”

“What a relief,” said Rana sincerely, rubbing at her eyes.

“Has Zee not been…”

“Oh, yeah, no… He’s texted. Said as much."

“Everything…. okay there? I don’t mean to pry, but I know…”

“Hey, let's not,” Rana cut in breezily. “We’re fine. It’s… we’ll sort it.”

“Right. Sorry. Look at me. Trying to have a life chat when you’re still half drunk and in bed with my flatmate. I’m going to go unpack,” said Alya, getting up. Calling over her shoulder, she added, “Oh, and don’t think you’re not getting a birthday celebration round two tonight, Kate Connor!”

As Alya made her way to the other side of the flat, Kate and Rana seemed to both sink down into the mattress, almost willing it to suck them down into it. Rana was staring skyward as Kate turned to her and let out a massive sigh of relief.

“Where the bloody hell did all of that come from?”

“What?” said Rana.

“Your little ninja act.”

Smiling slightly despite herself, Rana shrugged, still staring upward. “Desperate times.”

"You okay?” asked Kate, knowing the answer better than she wished to.

“Was far better an hour ago.”

“We knew eventually…”

“Yeah, I know, it’s just…”

“I know.”

“It’s been so amazing,” said Rana, almost mournfully.

“And it _will_ be amazing.”

“Kate, I need to tell y…”

“We’ll get through this bit. We’ve got to.”

“I know,” said Rana, squeezing her hand, realizing that, in the utter bliss of just being with Kate Connor, she’d forgotten to tell her about the row with her parents and Zeedan. She’d only been reminded of it on Alya’s mention, and she was thankful that, as for now, Kate wasn't pressing the point. What she was _not_ thankful for at all, however, was how her birthday plans for Kate were ruined. “Guess we’re going to have some company tonight.”

“The one part of my birthday plan I actually cared about," Kate muttered. "Should have skipped the do last night.”

“It wasn’t all bad. Speaking of…That bit about you ditching Imogen.”

“What about it?” Kate, who was reluctant to get into it, suddenly found the state of her cuticles to be immensely fascinating.

“Well…” started Rana, before she was hit by a pang of insecurity. What if she had read everything entirely wrong? She _had_ been a bit drunk. And really, when she thought about it now, what she’d deduced from the short conversation did seem a tad ridiculous. Though, it was certainly true that she could trace some sort of feeling on her part—a feeling she couldn’t make heads or tails of, but a feeling nonetheless—back to that night. So, maybe it wasn’t entirely impossible for…

“Turn the volume down, woman.”

“Huh?” Rana chanced a glance up at Kate.

“Your thoughts. They’re loud,” Kate explained, taking one of Rana’s hands. “And I have an idea what they may be about.”

“I was just wondering… The timing…”

Kate laughed. “You had the right of it last night. I… Ugh, this is sort of embarrassing…  I... Well, I couldn’t shake you for the life of me.”

“What d’you mean?”

“It’s a bit hard to explain because, see, I knew you were off limits in every way imaginable—as I’ve said. But it was like everything about you was just, everywhere. I couldn’t look anywhere without seeing you. Listen to anything without hearing you—and your bants,” said Kate, giving Rana a smirk. “It was a terrible crush. And I knew I couldn’t do anything about it, not really. I figured I could get over it and I could be your friend. I wanted to be your friend, and I _loved_ being your friend.” Kate paused, figuring out how best to explain what had gone through her head so many months before. “I didn’t end things with Imogen because I thought that maybe I had a chance with you. But it was just… I guess that night with you made me realize how I _could_ feel about someone. Never, never had I… It was so different, so amazing. The thought of settling for less,  _so much less_ , even for a casual thing just seemed so… pointless, hollow… I don’t… Am I making sense at all?” When Kate looked up from her hands, she saw Rana trying and failing to blink back a few tears, and reached out to comfort her. "I'm sorry, I'm too..." 

Before Kate could finish the thought, Rana cut her off, joining their lips, pressing hard out of raw, overwhelming feeling. Rana's hands came to rest at the base of Kate's neck as she broke the kiss to rest her forehead on Kate's, her breath rising and falling sharply as a choked sob escaped. 

Kate wrapped her arms around Rana and pulled her in, understanding that the tears that were falling from Rana's eyes were happy ones, and sad ones, and scared ones, and frustrated ones. "I've got you," Kate promised, rocking softly and feeling Rana shake with another stifled sob.

A few moments later, Rana extracted herself from Kate's arms. "You should go talk to Alya."

"But..."

"I'm fine, really," Rana reassured. "I'm just emotional. An emotional mess. But I'm okay."

Kate playfully wiped the drying tear stream from Rana's face. "There. Not so much a mess anymore, anyway."

Rana laughed softly. "I still can't believe you were carrying a flame for so long."

"What's not to believe? Have you spent any time with you?"

"Too much."

"Stop it."

"You're incredible," said Rana, marveling at the woman before her, and the depth of her feelings for her.

"Well I've never felt more incredible than when I'm with you."

Rana rolled her eyes, but quickly turned back to being serious, sighing. "We were meant to have one more night. Now Alya..."

"I'll blow her off."

"What?"

"I'll... I'll..." said Kate, racking her brain for some way out before a possible idea took hold. "I've got it. Or, I've got something at least." Rana prompted her to go on with her eyes. "I'll tell Alya I'm not up for another night out, that I'd rather just do lunch? Don't think she'll mind much, probably jump at the chance to spend the evening with Leo instead."

Rana nodded. "Think you can make it to mine by 8?"

"Are you asking me on a date?" asked Kate

"Mmm," said Rana, kissing her then pushing her away, leaving Kate, as usual, slightly off balance. "Best talk to Alya straight away. And I," said Rana. "Got a birthday date to put together."

 **READJUSTING** the pillows for the umpteenth time, Rana jumped as the sound of the buzzer pierced through the music coming through her earbuds. Slightly flustered, Rana yanked them out of her ears and put her phone down, buzzing Kate up before taking one last look in the mirror and tugging at the bottom of her shirt.

“It’s just Kate. Who you've spent every spare minute with this week,” Rana muttered under her breath to herself. “Who was your best mate for months.” Rana continued, adding with a gulp, “Who you very well might want to spend... Nope, no big deal at all.”

A knock at the door interrupted her psyche-up-self-chat-turned-nerves-amplifying-revelation.

“Hiya!” Rana said, a little too eagerly swinging open the door for Kate. If Rana didn’t know any better, she’d say Kate looked just as nervous as she felt, a red tint coloring her cheeks as she handed her a black plastic bag.

“Brought refreshments,” she explained with a small shrug.

Rana rolled her eyes, looking into the bag. “Bringing wine to your own birthday dinner. What was it? Thought I’d not provide any, or that you’d need some extra booze to get through it?”

“Just in case you’re as rubbish in the kitchen as Alya’s made out,” Kate teased.

“I’ll have you know,” Rana began before Kate pulled her in for a hug and a kiss.

“I missed you.”

“It’s only been hours.”

“Too many hours.”

“How was lunch,” Rana asked, breaking the embrace, but taking Kate’s hand as she moved towards the kitchen.

“It was nice. But Alya kept asking what was the matter with me.”

“Why?”

“Apparently I seemed elsewhere. Which, to be fair, I was.”

“What did you tell her?”

“That a singular woman had stolen my heart and rendered me heartsick.”

“You didn’t,” said Rana with a laugh.

“I didn’t. She’d not have believed it. Blamed a delayed hangover. Far more believable.”

Rana grabbed a bottle of red she’d picked up earlier and beckoned Kate to follow her to the living area. As Rana sat down and plugged a cord into an outlet, Kate took in her surroundings. There was Rana sat in the middle of the blanket-covered floor, pillows everywhere. A few lit candles. And fairy lights twinkling about. Aside from the bottle of wine, there were two styrofoam containers.

“Did you…?”

Rana bit her lip and nodded. “I thought it might be fun. It’s silly, though, isn’t it? Should have made a reservation. Or, actually cooked. Let me at least grab glasses,” she added, moving to get up. Before she could get far, Kate sat down and tugged at Rana’s hand, encouraging her to sit back down.

“It’s perfect.” Rana relented and sat back down, in somewhat of a huff, as Kate appraised the bottle. “Twist off?” Rana nodded. “May I?”

“By all means, could certainly use some.”

Kate laughed as she twisted the cap off and passed Rana the bottle, watching her take a healthy pull from it before handing it back.

“Combo over rice?” Rana said, unceremoniously handing Kate one of the styrofoam containers and getting up to grab her phone and nervously fumbling through her apps till she found the playlist she’d made earlier. She’d never been one for romantic gestures. She’d been on the receiving end of them more than she could count, though rarely were they all that personal, and none meant all that much to her. But she wanted to be sure Kate knew how she felt about her—and she wanted to show her. She felt so helplessly out of her depth, but hoped it was enough. Recreating that night in the park when she first told Kate how she felt seemed like one way to drive the point home that despite all that had happened since then, she’d never doubted her feelings for a moment—and wasn’t going to fight them, even with the latest hitch that she was going to have to share with Kate.

Sitting back down, Rana smiled softly at Kate, who had a hand outstretched with her dinner. When they’d both eaten as much as they could, they put the containers aside and sat close together, shoulders joined as they passed the bottle back and forth in between kisses and flirtation and sharing stories about their pasts. After Rana shared a particularly amusing story that involved climbing the garden fence, and sneaking in through a window at her parents’ house in fancy dress during a university break only to be met with the wrath of a very much awake Mrs. Habeeb, Kate steered the fairly light conversation to a slightly more serious one.

“Did you see them, your parents, when you were back?”

Rana nodded. This was it. She was going to have to tell Kate what exactly transpired when she saw them, and why she and Zee having it out was on Alya’s radar.

“Not the friendliest of visits, I take it,” said Kate, not missing the downturned expression on Rana’s face.

“Not at all.” Rana was determined not to cry whilst relating what had gone down and took a deep breath. “They... well, my dad, he’s investing in a new business for Zee.”

“Where?”

Rana shrugged. “Don’t know exactly where. Somewhere in Manchester most like.”

“So back there.”

Rana nodded and Kate, to her surprise, smiled. “Well that’s good news isn’t it? He moves back there, you stay here.”

“It’s not as simple as all that. My parents are investing in _my_ _husband’s_ business... with the understanding I’d be helping him run it."

Kate shook her head realizing that her initial optimism was a bit silly. “Of course, yeah.”

“And they think I should be around to help with Yasmeen. She’ll need a lot of care for the next several months. And honestly, there are things she may never be able to do again. Driving for instance."

Kate nodded in understanding.

“So... So they didn’t even want me to fly home last week.”

At this Kate’s eyes bugged.

“They didn’t think I’d come back if I left. That’s what that row with Zeedan was about Alya mentioned earlier. He’s completely with my parents on this.”

“Are you joking me? They just think they snap their fingers and you do as they want? You’re a grown woman who can make her own damn choices. That’s absolutely out of order. I can’t even...” Kate stopped herself, and took a breath, her voice softening. “How’d you convince them to let you go?”

“Imran helped.” Rana then explained the whole chain of events, including her chat with Sarah, coming clean to Imran, and how he ultimately saw her off to the airport upon convincing their parents that she was only going back to give her two weeks notice.

It was a lot for Kate to take in. She opted to respond to the main, perhaps only, truly positive. “I’m so glad you’ve got your brother's support.”

“Me too,” said Rana. “And, I'm sorry. I know this isn’t the best topic of conversation for your birthday," Rana added. "Should have told you earlier in the week. I meant to. It was just so nice, so easy to forget everything else and just be with you, in our own little bubble. It… I…”

“It’s okay,” said Kate, reaching for Rana’s hands that were fidgeting with her shirt sleeves.

Rana set her chin and held Kate’s eyes. “I know this is all rubbish. But I’m going to sort it. I’m not going back. Not without you anyway.”

Kate nodded.

“And I’ve made my mind up. When I talk to Zee, I’m going to tell him everything.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. There’s no sense in hiding it. Not with Yasmeen… Zee’s not the sharpest, but I think he’d realize there must be some other reason beside me just being unhappy that I’d tell him I want out of our marriage under the circumstances. And besides,” Rana went on. “As much as I don’t want to hurt him, I really don’t want to hide this.”

“But your parents,” Kate pointed out. “And Alya.”

“Can’t help it if he tells them,” Rana admitted, a note of apprehension apparent in her shaky tone. Kate squeezed her hand in support. “As for Alya, I hope Zee gives me a chance to explain. But I know it’s all out of my control once I tell him.”

“At least you have Imran.”

Rana agreed readily, looking to lighten up the mood again. “He thinks you’re quite the looker, by the way.”

“Does he now?”

“I believe his words were ‘a fox,’ might even be a bit jealous “

“He is an attractive bloke, your brother, I’ll give him that.”

“Gross, Kate.”

Kate laughed. “Strictly ladies for me. And you’re the only Habeeb I want”

“Better be,” said Rana, her brain wandering to the wedding ring she’d stored in a pocket of her bag since the plane ride to New York.

 **THE** next morning, Rana woke up tangled in the blankets on the floor of the living room, facing Kate with their arms lazily wrapped around their bare torsos. She’d placed a light kiss on Kate’s forehead as she brushed stray hairs behind her ear, wanting to take in the entirety of her face. “Morning,” croaked Kate, not bothering to open her eyes just yet.

Rana smiled. “You’re beautiful.”

“Might need to get your vision checked.”

“My vision’s perfect, thank you very much,” said Rana, giving Kate a light kiss on the lips.

“Mmmm.”

“I don’t want to go to work.”

“Then don’t.”

“Got to, decided not to quit, remember?”

“A bit soon for jokes innit?”

“Seems better than the alternative.”

“Come here,” said Kate, wrapping Rana up in her arms. “I think you might be the strongest person I know.”

As Rana gave into the comfort of Kate’s hold, her alarm went off. Groaning, she pulled herself away to silence it, seeing a missed call and a new voicemail from Zeedan from only an hour ago.

“Hey Rana. About to board my flight. Should get in around noon. When you get back from the hospital tonight, let’s have that chat, yeah? Sooner we sort things the better, don’t you reckon? Alright see you soon.”

“Well,” said Rana, putting her phone down, looking over at Kate, who unavoidably had heard the message. “He’s right about one thing, sooner we talk the better.”

Kate nodded. “How about I help you clean up and then I’ll walk you to the subway.”

Rana agreed, but then jumped up, remembering something. “Your gift! Can’t believe I nearly forgot.”

“Rana, you didn’t have to get me something. I told you just being with you was more than enough.” Rana waved her off as she rummaged through her case until she found the right bag.

“Sorry it’s not really wrapped,” Rana said, handing Kate a slim jewelry box.

“Rana…”

“Just open it.”

“You really shouldn’t have…"

“Kate,” Rana insisted, as the birthday girl finally obliged and opened the navy blue box.

“It’s a Manchester bee… It’s…"

“I know it’s not much. I just saw it in a shop when I was back. And I know there are reasons you left, but thought maybe you’d like a token of home? To remember the good bits.” Rana was alarmed to see a single tear rolling down Kate’s cheek, her chin quivering in what seemed to be an effort not to let any more fall. She’d never truly seen Kate cry before. She desperately reached for the box. “Here, give it to me. I’m sorry, Kate. I didn’t think. It’s all wrong, isn’t it? I’m so, so sorry. I’ll find something else.”

“No,” said Kate, still looking at the necklace.

“Please, Kate, I'm sorry. It was a bad idea.”

Kate took the necklace out of the box and handed it to Rana. “Can you put it on for me? Please,” Kate whispered.

“Are you sure?” Rana asked, slightly confused.

Kate merely turned around and lifted up her hair so that Rana could fasten the necklace. Rana apprehensively looked at Kate as she turned around, touching the small silver pendant affectionately. “I love it. And I love you.”

“I love you too. Are you really sure, you seemed…”

“Sad? A bit,” Kate admitted. “It reminds me a bit of Aiden, but in a good way. I want to remember him more. And home. Dad. Thank you, Rana. Really,” said Kate leaning forward to hug Rana, who at last believed that she hadn’t completely wrecked Kate’s birthday after all.

 **LEAVING** the hospital that night, Rana felt like she was about to be sick. She had chills that had nothing to do with the cool weather, a headache throbbing right behind her eyes from holding back the frustrated tears she refused to shed, a stomachache that felt as though her abdomen was filled with a jostling bag of frozen stones. Palms sweating as she gripped the subway pole for dear life, Rana tried to figure out how to tell her husband that she’d fallen head over feet in love with someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading. Hope you like this one!


	6. Chapter 6

**“GOT** a curry goin’,” Zeedan said as Rana let herself into their flat, carefully putting her bags down and hanging up her green coat. “You seem exhausted. Working yourself so hard even though you’re leaving. They’re gonna miss such a grafter. Their loss is my gain though, eh babe?” Zeedan said, hugging Rana, who winced involuntarily.

Though Rana had long been in love with Kate, she had managed, for the most part, to keep up the pretenses of being Zeedan’s wife. She had been on autopilot for so long that it was almost natural, the small acts of affection. Almost. There was nearly always an element of the play-act with it all though, as she was starting to understand. Rana scrolled back in her mind through moments with the man before her, trying to suss out what was genuine and what wasn’t, realizing that so much of everything had felt, even in the moment, as though she were living someone else’s life. The realization that she’d no longer be able to pretend, that she no longer had it in her to act her way through a relationship, through existence, was overwhelming. But it also strengthened her resolve.

“What’s wrong,” said Zee, feeling the sting of Rana’s tepid reaction to his homecoming. “Did you not miss me?”

“We need to talk,” Rana said. She knew that it would be best for both of them to get right to the heart of the matter.

“I know. Figured we could chat over tea.”

“I think we should before. Now.” Rana spoke with confidence, the only indication that nerves were threatening to overcome her, the subtle shift of her weight from foot to foot.

“It’ll be done in just…”

“Zee…” Zeedan looked up at Rana, waiting. “I can’t _do_ this. I can’t… I can’t move back to Manchester with you. Or do the cafe.”

“But you said…”

Rana reached for Zeedan’s arm and then thought better of it, sighing, resigned to the fact that there was no real way to soften this particular blow. “I lied,” she said. “This isn’t going to work, Zee. I’m sorry. But…”

“Of course it will work! It has to work, Rana. Your dad…”

“I’m not _talking_ about the business.” Rana shook her head out of frustration with her own struggle to articulate what she needed to say. “I’m talking about _us_.”

“What about us?”

“Our marriage, Zee. It’s over. Has been. I know I’m not the only one who’s been unhappy.”

Zeedan leaned back against the far counter, as if the wind had just been knocked out of him, unprepared for and shaken by what he was hearing. “Knew we were going through a bit of a rough patch, but this? It’s not on, Rana. We’re married. You don’t just throw it away. You’re not… You’re not saying you want a divorce are you?”

“I think it might be….”

“For the best? You must be joking. This is mad! I know it’s not been perfect, but we’ll work it out.”

“I don’t want to work things out, Zee!” spat Rana. Trying to regain her composure, she took a step back. “We’ve been miserable for months. We’ve not been happy a day since I’ve moved here. Honestly, I don’t know how you can be so surprised. And I know it’s a mess, especially with my parents involved now,” Rana added more softly, almost in a conciliatory tone. “But I can’t see another way.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why can’t you see another way? Why won’t you consider giving it another shot? And for that matter, why would you do this to me _now_ , of all times? What with my gran laid up in a rehab an’ all?”

“I know the timing’s rubbish.”

“So why?”

“I can’t do it anymore, Zee. I just can’t!”

“Why not, Rana? Hm?”

As Rana worked up the courage, her delay was enough to make Zee jump to what he thought was the most logical conclusion.

”What’s it Rana, tired of the married life already? Want to try it on with all the blokes Manhattan has to offer? Or wait, who am I kidding, probably already have done. How many since you’ve moved out here? You've been right distant from the start, saying you’re out with new mates on nights we’re to be together. I should have known. Marry a slapper, you get a slapper for a wife. If only… ”

“I wasn’t sleeping around Zee,” Rana nearly snarled. “That’s not why…”

“Oh no? You’re not cheating on me then?”

Rana was silent, staring at the floor, immobile, muted by a fear of sharing the truth coupled with a refusal to lie.

“You’re joking,” said Zeedan, standing up taller and coming up against the counter between them, glaring down at Rana on the other side. “There is someone else isn’t there?”

Declining to meet her husband’s furious gaze, Rana nodded.

Another harsh laugh escaped Zee’s lips. “Unbelievable. How long?”

“Not… not long.”  

“What? Is this one just the latest in a long string of…”

“It wasn’t like that!” Rana shouted in frustration.

“Oh really, what was it like then, Rana, because…”

“I only slept with one person. I love… we’re in love, Zee. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen. And I was going to tell you that day when Yasmeen… Well I was at least going to tell you…”

Zee’s phone went off, and Rana wasn’t sure whether or not to feel saved by the bell or condemned by it.

“It’s Alya,” Zee sighed, opting to answer it. “Hey, what’s up?... Yep, landed safe and sound. Yeah, she’s here. No… Actually, you mind if she crashes at yours tonight? Think we both need to cool off a bit.” Ignoring Rana’s shake of the head. “Alright thanks, Alya... Yeah, hope so too.” Zeedan ended the call. “Pack a bag.”

“Zeedan, I don’t think... We should finish talking about this.” Once again, Zeedan ignored her, walking into their bedroom. “Oh look. She already had a bag packed. How convenient! Where’d you think you were going to go? Your boyfriend’s? You make me sick. Go. Alya’s expecting you. And don’t say a word about… you cheatin’ on me... until we talk again. You understand me? Just need time to clear my head.” Shoving the bag into Rana’s knees, he added, “I mean it, get out. Can’t stand the sight of you.”

 **ALYA** buzzed Rana right up when she got there, giving her a hug and putting the kettle on for a brew, seeing that, if her sister-in-law’s eyes were any indication, she’d been crying most of the ride over. Settling down on the couch next to Rana, who’d yet to say a word, Alya placed the mugs down gingerly, unsure of what to say.

“Look, Zee’s my brother,” Alya started. “And I’ll always support him. But I don’t think he or your parents have any right to do what they’re doing.”

Rana sniffed, trying to hold it together, hoping that if she stayed still enough, if she kept her eyes down, she could manage it.

”I can’t pretend to know what I’d do in your shoes. Maybe, maybe you can convince him to give you another year?” Alya proposed hopefully, more to herself than anything.

Rana sniffed again.

“Rana, I’m so sorry he tossed you out like that. You don’t deserve…”

“I’m fine,” Rana spoke up, uncomfortable with the sound of Alya’s pity.

“You don’t look it.”

Rana gave her a watery smile. “Mostly just tired.”

Alya nodded, not quite believing Rana, but also wanting to check in with her brother. “Okay then, think I’m going to go visit Zee for a bit before going to Leo’s tonight. Think you’ll be alright? Maybe I can even talk some sense into Zee for you, yeah?”

Rana bit her lip and nodded weakly.

As Alya grabbed her bag, she turned back sympathetically to Rana once more, her heart breaking for her seemingly broken friend. “Kate should be back from work in a couple of hours,” she offered in hope that it was some kind of comfort, not having any idea just how much it was.

 **“HEY**!” said Kate, surprised to find the small form of Rana curled up on the couch, eyes on the TV but not processing a thing. “I’ve been trying to get in touch with you all night. How did it… Did you?” Kate started before realizing the implications of Rana being in her flat. “Does Alya know?”

Rana gave a noncommittal shrug, sitting up. Kate, not exactly sure what the gesture meant, just knew that Rana needed her arms around her, and rushed over to sit down beside her, taking her hands in hers. The subtle contact was enough to give Rana a sense of calm that she had come to associate with being around Kate. As she explained the events of the night, Kate nodded understandingly, wiped away stray tears, offered reassuring kisses, and never once broke the contact that was serving as Rana’s anchor.

“I’m sorry for not telling him everything. I _was_ going to, honest. But after Alya called, I froze. I…”

“Shh, hey, it’s okay. There’s no rush,” Kate said, smiling softly. As she caught Rana trying to stifle a yawn, Kate stood up, making to pull Rana up with her. “Bed time? Don’t think Alya will think anything of it since…”

Rana nodded, standing up, and then laughed. “It’s all a bit messed up, this.”

Kate grimaced knowingly. “Want me to make up the couch for you?”

Rana shook her head. “I know it’s not right, but I just need to be with you right now,” she said, dropping her head to Kate’s shoulder as they walked to her room.

 **“THAI** or tacos,” Kate asked as Rana exited the doors of the hospital for her lunch break. It had become somewhat of a routine for the two, one that had been occasionally observed before they’d admitted their feelings for one another, and had, in the last week, turned into an everyday occurrence when Rana was working. Though it was an unspoken, unscheduled appointment, Rana had been nervous when she’d said goodbye to Kate that morning and there’d been no mention of their standing lunch date. She thought that maybe, with Zee back in town, it was off. But Kate showed up, and as Rana realized she should have known by now, she always would.

Seeing Kate was a bright spot even on the best of days, and her effect on a more trying one was more than Rana could have thought was possible. Throughout their lunch, Kate, mindful that what Rana needed was not to rehash the events of the previous day, carried on as though nothing had changed from the prior week, being her most adorably goofy, flirtatious, and doting self. Leaving the restaurant, Rana couldn't have felt lighter.

“Thank you,” said Rana as they approached the corner at which they usually bid their goodbyes.

“Well, you fumbled so long with your wallet, someone had to grab the bill.”

Rana rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. Thank you. For being you.”

Kate let herself gaze at Rana with all the love she felt and went to reach for her hand, but thought better of it, remembering how close they were to the hospital. Rana caught Kate censoring what was so natural between them—wanting to be close to each other, wanting to touch each other—and it bothered her more than ever. The injustice of the bigger picture was one thing; the constraints put on Kate and her feelings and her desire to show them was another. Rana placed her hands on Kate’s hips and leaned up to capture her lips for a quick kiss, unable to stop herself from smiling into it. “Thank you,” she said again before shyly heading down the street, grinning dumbly at the ground as she approached the entrance.

“There you are.”

“Zee?!” Rana sputtered, looking up. Not in all the time that she’d worked there had he turned up.

“Came here to see if you wanted to grab lunch. Was told I’d just missed you.”

“Uh, er, yeah,” said Rana, holding up a takeaway bag with her leftovers in it. “Pad Thai. Want it?”

“No ta.”

Rana dropped her hand that was holding the bag, not sure what to do or say next.

Zee looked at his watch. “By my time, you’ve got about ten minutes before you’re due back. Can you spare a few for your husband?”

Rana nodded and cautiously took a seat on the bench next to him.

“I’ve done some thinking. And Alya helped me see some things last night too.”

“Can we talk later, Zee,” Rana half-pleaded not having any desire to have this particular conversation just minutes before she’d have patients in her care.

“You don’t have to say anything. Just wanted to say I know I’ve not been the best husband. And I’m willing to give you another chance, even after what you’ve done, if you stop whatever nonsense you started. Alya's fine with you staying there while we sort things out. Just don't take too long, yeah?” said Zeedan, getting up. “Oh, and glad you had a nice lunch with Kate.”

Zee didn’t turn around as he walked away from Rana. If he had, he would have found her rooted to the spot, her eyes wide, her mouth parted as though in conflict about whether or not to call after him.

 **“I** don’t know, Kate. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.”

“Surely he’d have said _something_ though right?”

“Honestly, I’ve not got the slightest idea what he saw. Your guess is as good as mine.”

“Do you think he’d…”

“Kate, please,” said Rana, tiredness draining her voice of all emotion. “I don’t know. But I think I know what I need to do.”

 **WHEN** Alya came in late from work, only a half hour or so after Kate had reluctantly left for the bar, Rana had a pizza sitting on the coffee table. “Hungry?”

“Starved, thanks," said Alya reaching to open the box, the fact that not a slice had been touched in the pie not going unnoticed by her. ”Er, how was your day?”

“Been better,” Rana admitted.

“I’m sorry, I tried with Zee last night. He seemed right shook up as well. But I think he’s open to…”

“I need to talk to you about something…”

“Oh no,” said Alya, putting the pizza down when she saw how utterly serious Rana looked.

“Are you… Is this where you tell me you’re gonna ditch my brother?”

Rana couldn’t help a single tear from falling, but she quickly wiped it away, trying to transfer all of her emotions and nervous energy into her hands as she played with the strings of her black hoodie. “Alya, it’s…  The marriage, it’s not working.”

Alya searched Rana’s eyes for any indication of wavering and let out a deep sigh before shaking her head and launching into a rambling plea on behalf of her brother. “Look, I know Zee can be a lot to deal with. He’s selfish. And moody… And he can be immature. And you’ve always been a bit out of his league, if I’m honest. But he’s a good man, Rana. If… ”

“He is. But he’s not…” _Kate,_ Rana thought. She looked to the ceiling, buying herself some time and hoping in vain to find a way to share the next piece of information in a way that would leave the least amount of collateral damage. “We started growing apart ages ago. And if I’m really, really honest, Alya. I don’t know. I don’t know if we were ever really right for each other. I don’t know if we ever were going to make each other truly happy.”

Alya searched her friend once more and once again saw nothing but the honest truth, as hard as it was to take in, and as badly as it made her feel for her brother, who she was sure would be devastated. “Does Zee know how you feel?”

Rana nodded. “I told him last night.”

Alya looked away, still trying to absorb what she was being told. “So you’ve felt this way for awhile.” Rana nodded. Alya shook her head in disbelief; she’d never thought their relationship was anything but perfect.

“I tried to talk to him about it… ” Rana cut herself off. “It doesn’t matter. I … I told him something else last night that you should know, that I want you to know.”

“What?”

“There’s... There’s someone else.”

At this revelation, Alya stood up sharply, feeling stung and betrayed, as though Rana had somehow lured her into feeling sorry for her only to drop this absolute bombshell.

“You’ve been cheating? On my brother.”

“Alya,” said Rana, following her into the kitchen.

“The nerve of you, staying in my flat. Did you have your little toy boy over here? And do _not_ tell me you’ve made Kate cover for you.”

Rana swallowed. “It’s not like that. It’s not some _toy boy._ It’s… I fell….

“Oh, you fell in love...”

“Yes, with…” Rana shook her head.

“Go on… Let’s hear it. Someone with more money than my brother, a nicer flat? Taller, perhaps? Funnier? Hm? What is it? Is he...?”

“I… I’m in love with _Kate_ , Alya! It's Kate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully the moments between Rana and Kate make up for the angst in this chapter. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**HAVING**  desperately needed to set the record straight to Alya, Rana had admitted that she was in love. And not just with anyone, but with her sister-in-law's flatmate. She braced herself, waiting for some immediate return fire. But Alya remained silent, causing Rana to curiously and cautiously look up to find her half-gaping, dumbfounded. Rana decided to splinter the quiet, to take the opportunity to plow forward, to explain as much as she could before she lost the chance. So she closed her eyes and tried to make the person who was once her best mate understand.

“I am so sorry, Alya. We’re so sorry about how everything happened. Please don’t blame her. She... Kate. I was the one. I just… I had all these feelings and they confused me at first. And I didn’t know what to do with them,” said Rana, gesticulating more empathically than generally was her custom, as though words just weren't enough to explain. “So I ignored them, my feelings for her. Fought them for months, but they were always there. We’d, Kate and I, we'd hang out as friends and I thought my heart would... _explode_ every time we brushed hands or shoulders... or we locked eyes. Then one night, I… well I kissed her. And that was really it for awhile. We talked a couple times about what to do but, well, then we spent weeks not talking at all. They were torture. Until…. until I told her I loved her… at Leo’s. I was to going to tell Zee the next day after work that it was, that our marriage… but then your gran and… I’m sorry. I didn’t…”

“I need to get out of here.”

“Alya,” Rana said, looking back up for the first time since she started her monologue. Alya didn’t acknowledge her as she made for the door. “He doesn’t know.”

“What?”

“Kate. He doesn’t know it’s Kate."

Without betraying a hint of what she felt or thought, or what she was going to do with that information, Alya left.

 **RANA** fumbled with her phone in her hands for minutes that elapsed without her notice. She passed the time idly waiting for one bomb or another to go off in her hands, and too uncertain to attempt to diffuse what concerns were likely plaguing Kate with a message of her own. But it wasn’t long before her phone lit up in the dark room. It was Kate.

>>Any update?

Well, yes. Technically something had happened. Rana had done something, made a move, a choice. But she didn’t know the full consequences of that choice yet. Biting her fingernails, a habit her mother had long ago scolded her out of, Rana tried to suss out what to tell Kate. Then her phone lit up again. Alya.

>>I won’t tell Zee. I’m staying at Leo’s tonight. Please have enough respect to sleep on the couch.

Rana let out a sigh of modest relief and went to text Kate back.

<<I told Alya. Could have gone worse. I’ll be here when you get in. Tell you all then. I love you.

>>Okay. I love you too.

Rana smiled and wondered if she deserved to, but then managed to shrug off what had become a near-constant impulse for self-flagellation, for the moment anyway, letting herself be happy to love Kate and be loved by her.

 **“SO** you just… You just told her?” Kate sputtered.

Rana nodded.

“But you said yesterday… Babe, are you sure? I mean…”

“It’s already done, Kate. Like I said. She told me she's not going to tell Zee, not yet anyway. Oh, and she told me to sleep on the couch."

“As if.”

“Kate, it’s really the least I can do.”

“Fine, you’re right. But I hate it.”

“Like I fancy sleeping on the mangey thing.”

“Oi!” said Kate, but her defensiveness about the couch she bought on Craigslist quickly was replaced by genuine concern. “Why don’t you take my bed? You’ve got an earlier start. I don’t mind… sleeping on the _mangey_ couch.”

“You’re sweet. But I think it’s best I just do as she asks? Don’t think she’ll find you offering up your bed to me all that endearing under the circumstances… Sorry I kind of dropped you in it, by the way,” Rana added with a wince.

Kate brushed her off. “Please. I love Alya to bits, but I’ve been preparing myself for the potential fall out for a minute. Was always a matter of time.”

“Has she texted you?”

“No,” said Kate, unsure of what to do. “So, we wait?”

“We wait.”

 **RANA** woke up the next morning to the sound of the front door opening and slamming shut. Alya nodded in acknowledgement before heading straight to the kitchen to put a kettle on and then came to take a seat in a chair opposite the couch on which Rana had re-positioned herself into an upright position.

“Thank you for not telling, Zee. About Kate, I mean.”

“It’s for him, not you.”

Rana nodded, looking at her hands. “Alya, I’m sorry. You have to know…”

“I don’t have to know anything. I didn’t know you’d cheat on my brother. And I certainly didn’t know it’d be with a woman—my flatmate no less.”

“Alya, I...”

“Did you know you were gay the whole time? I mean, I can get hiding it from your family. But from Zee? _Me_?”

“I’m not… I didn’t… I … Honestly, Alya, I don’t know. Everything’s just been moving so fast.”

Alya brushed Rana off, not currently willing to give Rana the time to unpack her feelings on the topic of her sexuality.

“But you want to be with Kate.”

Rana nodded again, shrugging her shoulders almost helplessly.

“Well, what exactly was the plan then? Divorce Zee. Then what? Move in here with your girlfriend? And what are you going to do about your parents? Planning on telling them about any of this anytime soon? Not just that you’re tossing out your marriage, but that you want to shack up with another _woman_? And…”

“You're sounding like a bigot. You never had a problem with Kate,” Rana snapped.

“Kate isn’t married to my brother!”

“That doesn’t…”

“And he’ll be humiliated, Rana.”

“I didn’t mean for any of it to happen, Alya! And I hate that I’ve hurt him. That… And I’m sorry if things are even worse for him because I happened to fall in love with a woman. But I couldn’t help it, Alya. I couldn’t,” said Rana, calming herself before adding in a smaller voice, “Even if I could have. She’s…”

“Stop.”

Rana looked up.

“I _really_ don’t need to hear again about how in love you are with the person you cheated on my brother with.”

“I’m sor—”

“And I don’t want to hear anymore apologies either. This is what’s going to happen. You need to tell Zee everything, but after he gets through this week. You can stay here till then. When you talk to him, you need to make it clear that it’s really over, that there’s no chance you’ll change your mind,” Alya said, adding with more than a hint of derision, “Not that I think you’ll have a problem with that once you start talking about her.”

“Alya...”

“But please don’t rub it in too much, yeah? And one day, when I’m not feeling fit to rip your bloody head off for doing this to my baby brother, to my family, you’re going to have to explain all this to me.”

“I can hardly explain it to myself," Rana whispered.

Alya felt an uncomfortable impulse to comfort her friend, who was clearly struggling, but rejected it. “Right, well, like I said, just please don’t be throwing _this_ ,” Alya said, gesturing between Rana and the door to Kate’s room, “In my face, ‘kay?”

“Of course,” said Rana, wiping at her nose. Without another word, Alya got up, made herself a cup of tea and went to her room.

 **BEFORE** leaving for work, Rana gently pushed open the door to Kate’s room, taking soft steps until she got to Kate, who surprised her when her eyes flew open unprovoked.

“Wasn’t sleeping,” Kate explained as Rana jumped back in mild alarm. "When I heard the door open, figured it was a fifty-fifty chance of it being you, or Alya coming to smother me in my sleep.”

“Bit early for jokes innit?” Rana smiled. “But I think you're safe, for now, anyway.”

“How?”

“I know, I’m just as surprised as you are. She’s got a good heart, Alya. And she loves Zee more than anything. She just wants me to wait to talk to him again, though, let him get through this busy stretch at the restaurant.”

“Are you okay with that?”

Rana nodded. “There’s sense in it, plus she’s letting me stay here for now.”

“Here?” asked Kate, gesturing to the empty side of the bed.

“Don’t be daft. I’ve got to head off. See you later,” said Rana, giving Kate a kiss goodbye.

 **THOUGH** Alya had resigned herself to her decision to let Rana stay under her roof, the roof she shared with Kate, the whole thing made her wildly uncomfortable—even if the two women were on their best platonic behavior.

It was hard for Alya to ignore how Rana, who had always been lovely and kind but not too bothered about things like how someone took their tea or what mug they favored, would wordlessly and effortlessly grab Kate’s preferred chipped mug with the sunflowers on it, put a splash of milk in first, a teaspoon of sugar stirred in, just as she liked it. All before making her own cup of coffee. She also didn't miss that Kate, who she’d only known to hate the sort of care-taking and expectations involved in a relationship, had spent an afternoon getting softer blankets and a new pillow for Rana’s makeshift bed on the couch. After making it, she set a small stuffed koala on top, not realizing that Alya had caught her struggle to decide on the perfect placement for three tries too many.

It was in the looks Alya caught between Rana and Kate when they didn’t realize she was paying attention despite herself, the unrequited hand holds, and conspicuously avoided passing grazes. The energy between them was unmistakable and it was driving Alya mad. It was only a few days after this bizarre arrangement had started that she decided that it was more important for her to get some breathing room than for her to play chaperone to her sister-in-law and flatmate. She texted them both that she’d be staying at Leo’s that night, and received sober acknowledgements that she wasn’t naive enough to think weren’t masking some excitement to be home alone. Some brain bleach was rarely more in order.

 **COMING** into the flat from work, Rana was met with the unmistakable smell of a roast and the sight of Kate in an apron over her work uniform of a black shirt and matching trousers, her hair thrown up in a ponytail.

Rana smiled as a clearly stressed Kate was peaking into the oven, unable to hear Rana’s entrance over the loud music she was playing. Kate closed the oven door and turned around, a distressed look upon her face, that, as she spotted Rana sitting at the counter with her chin cradled in her hands and smirking, turned into one of shock.

“Jesus H. Christ," she hissed. "You scared me half to death!"

“Apologies,” said Rana, leaning across the counter for a kiss. “What’s all this anyway?”

“Well, since Alya’s out for the night, I thought maybe we could take advantage?”

“I like the way you think,” said Rana, popping some of the cheese Kate had set out on a plate into her mouth.

“Wine?”

“Love some,” said Rana. “Weren’t you supposed to be working tonight?”

“Was actually on my way in,” Kate explained, gesturing at her outfit. “Called in sick as soon as I got Alya’s message and went straight to the shop.”

“You’re something else, Kate Connor.”

“Something good I hope.” Coming around to the other side of the counter, Kate wrapped her arms around Rana’s waist.

“The best.”

Unable to curb the pent up want any longer, Kate pulled Rana into a kiss, the two of them grabbing at each other like teenagers until the timer went off on the stove. As Kate grunted in frustration and went to turn the roast around, Rana laughed and decided to go change her clothes. When she came back out in one of Kate's jumpers and jeans, Kate eyed her.

“What?”

“Well if ya’d told me you were going to change, I’d have offered to help.”

“Oh, yeah?” said Rana, picking her glass up and taking a sip, an unspoken challenge hovering in the air. Kate had discarded her apron, having finished the messier business of preparing their dinner, and was leaning against the counter, knowing full well that she was going to accept the challenge. Pushing off the counter, she practically swaggered over to Rana, carefully removing the glass from her hand and setting it down.

Rana quirked an eyebrow.

Instead of answering, Kate grabbed her by the hips, switching their positions and guiding Rana backwards until her back was flush up against the counter. She let go of her hips to place her hands gently on either side of her neck, leaning deeply in a kiss, as she pressed their bodies together, craving more contact. Rana responded in kind, her hands finding the small of Kate’s back, pulling her in closer. But it still wasn't enough. Sliding her hands under Kate’s black t -shirt, she moved to lift it, tossing it on the floor. As Kate followed her lead, Rana waited impatiently before quickly pulling her back in, wanting to feel the warm, electric sensation of their skin touching.

“No,” said Kate as Rana went to grab the waistband of Kate’s trousers. Instead, Kate made quick work of Rana’s jeans before lifting her onto the counter.

“Kk–Aate,” Rana called out, grabbing at the cabinets behind her for support as Kate showed her just how much she’d missed her the last few days.

Rana, not a bit rubber-legged after Kate's counter stunt, just about managed to pull her jeans back on, but didn't have quite enough energy to do them back up—or fetch the jumper for that matter. “That was… unexpected.”

Kate smirked before giving Rana a slow kiss and reluctantly moving away to check the cookbook on the counter island. “Full of surprises, me,” she said over her shoulder.

Rana came up from behind Kate, wrapping her arms around Kate’s middle and placed lazy kisses on her right shoulder, her hand skimming the black strap of her bra. "This is where we met isn't it? Been wanting to do that all this time, haven't you?"

"Mmm," Kate groaned in lieu of an answer.

Looking at the front door across the room from them, Rana murmured, “What if Alya’d come home?”

Kate shook her head. "She won't.”

“How much time do we have?”

“Till dinner?” Kate glanced at the timer. “Twenty?”

“So... plenty.”

“What do you …”

Before Kate could finish the thought, she felt Rana’s kisses and caresses lose their laziness, taking on an urgency. Kate made to turn around to face Rana, but the smaller woman resisted, grazing her teeth at the sensitive spot where Kate’s neck met her shoulder, her left hand sliding its way up to Kate’s chest, pulling her back closer into Rana’s front as she snaked her right hand down to finally make its way into Kate’s pants. Kate placed her hands on the counter for support as Rana leaned forward enough to capture Kate’s lips with hers. Their eyes both closed, lost in the feel of one another, sound blocked out from the sounds of their own breathing, the music Kate had been playing when Rana walked in still playing loudly, they’d not realized that they were no longer alone.

Kate, unable to keep her hands to herself any longer, finally managed to turn herself around. Rana opened her eyes slightly to chide her for not letting her have her way with her, when she saw the figure by the door. Stood in his cooks' whites, his hands rigidly at his sides, and his mouth parted in utter disbelief, was Zee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading, your comments, and kudos!


	8. Chapter 8

**RANA**  removed her hands from Kate as though she were aflame. Wordlessly, they both scrambled to find their shirts and refasten their jeans.

“I…” Rana started, looking between Kate and Zee. “She…”

“You’ve been cheating on me with… her?!”

“Zee, we…”

“This is your doing then,” said Zeedan, glaring at Kate. “This what you do? Go ‘round seducing married women?”

“You what?” said Kate, her arms crossed protectively over her middle, standing as close to Rana as she deemed appropriate.

“That’s enough, Zee,” said Rana moving towards him. “Kate, can you…”

“I’m not leaving you with him.”

“It’s fine. We need to talk.”

Zeedan sneered. ”What I came here for.” He shook his head as though trying to get what he’d just witnessed upon entering the flat out of his head.

Kate nodded and reluctantly slunk away to her bedroom.

“So, what? You’re a lesbian now?”

Rana closed her eyes. No sense mincing words. “I love her.”

“Since when?”

“I don’t know. Awhile, I guess. But Zee,” she said quietly, looking up. “I swear it’s only recently I acted on it. Like I said the other night, I’ve not been going around behind your back for ages. I know that doesn’t make it loads better or anything. I really am sorry.“ Somewhat ashamedly she added, glancing towards the kitchen. “And I’m sorry you had to see… “

“Me an’ all,” spat Zee. “Does Alya know?”

For a moment, Rana considered playing dumb. Then she considered being completely honest before settling, ultimately, on a well-meaning lie. “No. She’s no idea.”

“Disgusting. Carrying on your affair right under my sister’s—your best friend’s—nose. Who even are you? Just disgusting, the both of you.”

Rana willed herself not to cry. “You’re right. We shouldn’t have done. I shouldn’t have done. And I _am_ sorry,” said Rana, taking a seat on the couch. “I _hate_ how I’ve hurt you, Zee, honest. Having an affair was wrong, I won’t argue that. But this wasn’t some frothy thing. I am in love with her. More than I can put into words.”

“Can’t believe what I’m hearing,” Zee sighed. “Let alone what I just saw.”

“I’m sorry, Zee.”

“Get your things.”

“What? But…”

“Rana get your things unless you want me to ring up your folks right now and tell them all about your little girlfriend.”

“Zee, please just give me…”

“Give you? Think I’ve given you enough.”

“But why do you want me to… “

“Because there’s one more thing I can get out of this marriage, and I intend to. And you’re going to help me do it.”

“You’re not talking about the cafe are you? Because...”

Zeedan pulled out his phone. “You’ve got five minutes.”

 **RANA** could barely look at Kate as she entered her room to grab her bag. “I have to go.”

“What?” said Kate jumping off the bed, and moving to hug Rana, who shirked away. “Please don't make it harder than it already is. I have to go. I’ll text you.”

“Rana,” Kate pleaded.

“I’ll text you, promise,” said Rana, leaving with her husband, leaving without her heart.

 **THE** first message that Kate received from Rana was normal enough, if a bit shorter on details than she would have liked. She’d told her that she was back at her flat, that she was okay, that she was going to talk to Zee. Then there were apologies and explanations about why she couldn’t meet up. And then Kate was lucky to get a word or two response. It was the longest week of her life. Even Alya, who was making a point of not noticing Kate, realized that she was more than anxious. As Kate spent her Sunday morning flitting in and out of her room, up and down from the couch, over to the kitchen, across to the window. And on and on. Alya, who’d been sitting at the counter getting a start on some work for the week, finally broke.

“ _What_ is your problem?”

“Hm?” said Kate, completely in her own universe.

“You’ve not been normal in days. But this…” she said, gesturing wildly all around the apartment, “is driving me mad.”

“Sorry,” said Kate, sinking down into the couch. “I just hope she’s okay.”

“She’s fine.”

“Have you talked to her? Did she text?”

Alya eyed Kate nervously. “Not since the other day. She er, she just wanted to thank me for not booting her out... and told me she didn’t tell Zee I knew. Which, I do appreciate.”

Kate smiled softly. “Of course she didn’t. And I’m sorry, I should have thanked you too.”

Alya nodded curtly. “Too right.”

“What do you think they’ve been… You don’t think she’s going to go back to him do you?... Sorry,” said Kate, dropping her head into her hands. “Forget I asked. That was completely inappropriate.”

“Too right. Again.”

“I am sorry, Alya, for all of it. I tried not to. I was just going to be her mate. I never thought that… And then when I found out she felt the same… It’s not an excuse,” Kate added, shaking her head. “I made a choice at some point. I know that. Don’t think I…”

“I get it. Well, I don’t _get it_ get it. But, I do know you well enough to know you’d not have given into… whatever… unless, well, unless it was something real.”

Kate shyly smiled her thanks then saw her phone light up out of the corner of her eye. Rana.

>>Can you meet me at Tompkins Sq in an hour?

Kate had never gotten ready and out the door faster in her life.

 **WHILE** Kate had been pacing her flat, Rana had been the picture of stillness in hers. Not the relaxed sort of stillness, but the petrified kind, the kind born out of a threatening rip current of guilt. She’d so far kept herself from letting it take her. She’d been buoyed by the utter high of being in love with Kate, and managing to compartmentalize all her separate realities. The walls of the compartments were cracking one by one, their truths bleeding into one another, and there was little she could do to stem the tides. So she sat there in the chaos, getting pulled under by the guilt, almost succumbing to the delusion that her short-lived joy had been nothing but an ephemera itself. But of course it wasn't. The guilt Zee was laying at her feet was numbing everything except the pain she felt from being away from Kate, a pain that was too real to be anything but.

Rana had made sure to arrive at the part first. She’d more or less made her mind up about what she wanted to say, but she needed a moment or two just to breathe. When Kate arrived, she found Rana sitting on the bench, her legs pulled up and bent beneath her, playing with her fingers in her lap. While Kate had allowed herself some optimism on the way to meet Rana, it was fast leaving her as she caught sight of Rana’s compacted form, huddled on the park bench, rings under her eyes so dark that Kate had been able to make them out from several meters away. Kate wasted no time joining her, wrapping her arms around her small shoulders before taking her face in her hands.

“Are you okay? I’ve been so worried. I didn’t know if…”

“I’m fine, Kate,” said Rana, carefully pulling away while trying to offer a reassuring smile.

“You don’t look okay,” said Kate with the full force of her customary bluntness.

Rana nodded weakly.

“I didn’t mean, you just…

“I am tired. I’m tired of disappointing everyone…”

“You’re not.”

“I am. Even you.” Before Kate could interrupt her again, Rana shook her head to get her to let her finish, tell her what she’d come here to stay. “I need some time.”

“For what?” Kate said, her tone more clipped than she had intended.

“I’ve not been fair to Zee.”

“Fair! Rana, I heard how he spoke to you the other day. And I know we’ve not been saints, but…” Kate cut herself off, a thought that had been clawing at the back of her mind making its way to the surface. “You’re not thinking of getting back together with him are you?”

At the pained softness in Kate’s voice, at the mere suggestion, of the thought that Kate might believe that it wasn’t her who had her whole heart, Rana was stirred into a mild panic. “No! No, Kate. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think… Nothing’s changed. I’m leaving him. I love you,” she said, squeezing Kate’s hands for emphasis. “It’s just… It’s all a lot for him to take in, to process, you know? I don’t want to make it any worse than it already is. So I thought maybe, just for a short while, we put us on hold a bit? I don’t want to sneak around. I want us to be together properly.”

Kate nodded in reluctant understanding. “So, is this it then, for now?”

Rana shook her head, sensing that Kate still didn’t understand. “Nothing’s ‘it,’ Kate. It’s just….”

“Just that you can’t see me for… however long.”

“Not long, I swear it. You know this isn’t what I want, to be away from you, right?”

“I know,” said Kate, her gaze finding the dirt she was kicking into with the toe of her shoe. She shut her eyes hard, fighting back the inclination to cry. When she felt Rana wrap a comforting arm around her and begin to soothingly rub her back, she’d had enough. “I’ve got to go,” she said, standing. “I get it. I do. But I’ve got to go.”

As Kate’s steps took her farther and farther away from Rana, she finally let her face show the pain of her heart, which felt as though it were fracturing into a thousand pieces. She blinked furiously to keep the tears at bay, jammed her hands into her pockets, pounding the pavement beneath her as though it, and not a string of decisions made by that stolen heart of hers, was to blame for how she was feeling. And she _felt_ like the whole city that was teeming with people who paid mind to little else beside their own worlds had it’s eyes on her, could see the vulnerability she’d long capably masked. Self consciously, she pulled her jacket closer around her, unable to shake the sense that the thoughts swimming around in her mind were now screaming out for all to hear.

Kate had always known how dangerous Rana could be to her, how letting her in could be her undoing, even without the complications of a husband, of parents who were bound to disapprove, of being someone’s first, an anchor to a new experience. Every time the impulse arose to flee, though, Kate had tamped it down, a sure-noted chorus of “It’ll be worth it,” an echo. As she reassured Rana time and time again with those same words, her own fears reverberated silently, her own insecurities. Am I not enough? Will I be enough? Am I worth all this for her? It was destroying her from the inside, threatening to overcome the love, for which the only antidote was a natural inclination for self-preservation. She understood Rana’s position, but she wasn’t sure how long she could handle the suffocating position it had carved out for her.

Mere seconds after entering her flat, Kate felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. The calm reserve she’d been determined to assume in the face of her own pain transfigured, as hope sent her into something short of a frenzy. There was a palpable need for the person on the other end of the call to be Rana, Rana telling her she couldn’t be apart from her any longer.

“Hello?” Kate asked into the phone, not having even spared a second to see who it was.

“Has someone told you already then? I told them I would. Honestly…”

“Michelle?”

“Yes, love who’d you think?”

“I… No one. Tell me what?” Kate could hear Michelle’s tired sigh on the other end of the phone.

“You’re going to need to book a flight home, Kate.” 

 **A** few days passed in which Rana did little else but go to work and come home and go to sleep, the only saving grace of her current situation with Zee the fact that their hours were at odds, leaving no time for lengthy beratings or even much of Zee’s disdainful passive aggressiveness. The worst part, though, was that since telling Kate that she needed some time to sort things with Zee, there was radio silence. Rana knew the situation was far from ideal, and that despite Kate’s constance, there was something akin to resentment brewing beneath the placid surface. But she did not expect the text Kate sent her later that night after they’d met, telling her that it would be easier for her if they stopped talking altogether for the time being. And, if Rana were to be completely honest with herself, she hadn't really expected Kate to stick to her own call for a communication blackout.

By day four, Rana had had enough and went straight to Kate and Alya’s flat after work. In a state, Rana aggressively hit the buzzer, somewhat caught off guard by her sister-in-law’s voice on the other end and equally caught off guard by how quickly Alya agreed to let her up. Not quite up for pretenses, Rana immediately asked if Kate was in as Alya opened the door for her. Alya rolled her eyes, and seemed poised to give Rana a telling off when she realized the glaring gap in information.

“You mean you don’t know?"

“Don’t know what?” Rana asked, panic evident in her shaky voice.

“She left for Manchester the other day for the surgery. Her sister took a turn for the worst.”

“What? Wwhat surgery?” Rana sputtered.

“You don’t even …”

“No! No, I don’t know! Can you just... “ Rana calmed herself, realizing she’d descended into near hysterics. “Please.”

Alya studied Rana for a beat, then shrugged her shoulders. “She’s giving her sister a kidney.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay! Between work and the nice weather, I've been struggling to find the time. 
> 
> Also, just a heads up, Kate will be back in NYC in the next chapter. Bit more angst before more fluff. But, we'll get there. :)
> 
> And as always, thanks for reading, your comments, and kudos!


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